


God Knows

by buckys_bitch



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, and the other queen boys are in their twenties, basically they’re all characters it’s odd, lowercase because i can, roger and rogerina are legal, this is an au because writing as real people is weird
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-09-01 23:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16775011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckys_bitch/pseuds/buckys_bitch
Summary: rogerina taylor gets what she’s always wanted- to be a well respected drummer in a band. what will this mean for her? what will it cost for her to make it big?





	1. i want to break free

rogerina always knew she was a pretty girl. she knew this when she was in primary when all the boys asked her to the dances, she knew this in secondary when her brother’s best friend made out with her in front of the whole school, and she knew this now at 16 when she was trying to replace the old drummer of smile, a local band. 

her brother, roger, was kept out of it. if he knew smile was looking for a drummer, he’d try to take the spot from her, mostly because he was the one who taught her how to play. her mother didn’t know, and her father didn’t particularly care. she knew she could get the gig because of her talent and looks, as shallow as that may sound. she knew of the boys in the band, and they were all college kids whose reputation was that their penises thought for them, but she was going to use this to her advantage. 

one friday after school, she told her mom she was going to her friend lanie’s house, when in reality, she was going to see smile live. it was the last time their drummer was ever going to play a set with them again, and it made her excited to know she was going to be that person this time tomorrow. 

she chose to wear a black miniskirt with a light blue short sleeved crop top, sprinkling in fishnets and platform heels. her bright, blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail, sans her bangs which were freshly trimmed. her lips were slightly overdrawn in a red liner & gloss and her eyes were done with a smoky brown look, hoping to accentuate her baby blues. she wanted the role, and she was going to get it. at the concert, this caused catcalling from older men in the crowd, offers of drinks from the owner who knew she was underage, and groping from teenage boys around her all night. she truly knew in that moment she must’ve been the most good looking girl in the house to be getting this much inappropriate attention. 

either way, she made it to the end of the show physically unharmed. she shoved her way back stage, seeing their drummer hauling the last of his stuff to his car. john, freddie, and brian all hugged him before he got into his van and drove off. rogerina took this as a chance to run up to them, ready to show them how much she wanted to be in this band. “hello, all,” she said sweetly, and band members turned to look at her. 

“hello, dear. i’m sorry, but all groupies looking to get into our pants are-,” freddie said, beginning to point, but she cut him off. “no, sir. i want to be your new drummer,” she said, smiling with her pearly whites. “how old are you?” brian asked, making her giggle. “i’m 16, i’m legal. can i play drums for smile?” she asked again, more direct this time. 

“how are you even allowed into this venue, dear?” freddie asked, under the impression she was snuck in by someone trying to get her drunk. “no, no,” she laughed. “i was here to see you and to show you that i really can play,” she insisted, waving the three older men back onto the stage where the instruments were. 

“what is your name, even?” brian asked, from behind. she was proud she had gotten their attention enough to bring them with her to play something. her hips swayed in the way she knew would catch their eye, ass very visible with her tight skirt. “rogerina,” she called over her shoulder, stopping to sit at the drums. 

the three college students hopped down to stand looking at her from the audience. “what should i play?” she asked, and they looked around. “do you know one of ours?” john asked, and she laughed. “of course i do!” she exclaimed, getting herself ready. she picked up the sticks and shook her arms trying to articulate herself. 

she started singing doing all right, which the boys were listening to intently. then, when she started the drums, they were completely entranced. she went through the whole song, tempo changes and all, not once straying off beat. when she finished, they came up to the front of the stage and clapped for her. 

“rogerina, that was amazing!” freddie said, and she smiled shyly. “thank you,” she said, blushing. “you’d make a perfect drummer and great vocals. you’re in,” freddie beamed, pointing to her. she shot up out of the chair, racing to jump off the stage to stand with them. she was a good three inches shorter than all of them, even with the heels. “really?” she exclaimed, jumping from foot to foot. “yes, dear. really,” the lead confirmed, and she danced about the empty venue. 

“can we see you here tomorrow for practice?” john asked, and she stopped dancing. “yes, yes of course. i am apart of this band, after all,” she said with fake seniority, and it made them all laugh. “practice starts at 3 tomorrow night, so please don’t be late,” freddie said, winking. he turned on his heel and walked out, brian and john following behind loosely. 

giddily, rogerina returned home at about 11, claiming to have left lanie’s early due to not feeling well. her mother felt her head, not feeling anything, but sent her to bed anyways. when she was safe in her room, she giggled and flipped on her bed. “hi, i’m rogerina taylor, the drummer for smile. how are you?”


	2. i want to break free ii

the next morning, rogerina had a hard time deciding what she was going to wear. there was either a long, dark blue bohemian dress with strappy sandals with which she would leave her naturally frizzy hair untouched, or tight jeans, a worn beatles tee shirt, and addidas, which is when she would throw her hair up in a bun. she decided on the latter, but was too lazy to do anything more than brush her hair. 

she ran downstairs for breakfast, to which she was met with her parents gone and her twin watching cartoons & shoveling cereal into his mouth. “morning, roger,” she said, going to the pantry to try and find bread for toast. “morning, rogerina,” he garbled through a mouthful. she just rolled her eyes and made her breakfast. 

her name was a reminder how uncreative her family was. roger was born first, therefore her mother had no other option besides having her girl be named rogerina. what a lovely moniker. 

she finished up her breakfast and left roger watching his shows. she stalked off to the instrument room where all of her and roger’s musical items were, that way they could share their instruments and keep their rooms ‘neutral’, according to their mother. there was a beautiful drum kit on one side of the room and a piano on the other, and then rest of the space was taken up by things like guitars, basses, and assorted mixers. 

she sat down behind the drums and tapped out doing alright again, humming the words. once she was sure she knew it well enough, she started practicing other songs, worrying about how she was going to learn a full set list in one night. 

“could you be any louder?” roger asked, stepping into the room. “i was tapping lightly so i wouldn’t be loud. you’re just stupid,” she said, getting up from the drums. “you haven’t touched them in a year. what exactly do you think you’re doing?” he asked, leaning against the door frame. she walked up to him, and even though she was an inch shorter, she tried to intimidate him. “you don’t know what i’m doing,” she said, and roger rolled his eyes. 

“you’re giving some guy lessons in exchange for sex. i know you. i feel violated that you’re doing this with my knowledge,” he said, and rogerina laughed. “you think i’d fuck someone for drum lessons? i’d fuck anyone that meets my standards,” she said, shoving roger out of her way. “do you even have standards?” he called after her as she stormed down the hallway. she just flipped him off as she rounded the corner. 

...

“this place is so pretty in the day,” rogerina stated, following brian into the back of the venue that afternoon. “it is, isn’t it?” he replied, opening the door for her to the practice room. “ah, rogie!” freddie exclaimed, jumping up to hug her. she laughed and hugged him back, wondering if he’d do that every time. 

“hello, darling. how are you?” he asked, guiding her to where he was sitting before. “i’m good, thanks. and you?” she said, refusing the seat. freddie took it and grinned. “i’m doing well,” he said, then turned back to the song he was writing. john was practicing his part of step on me, and brian was practicing doing all right. the semi-quietness and domesticity of it made her smile. 

“freddie, do you have the sheet music for my parts?” she asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the two practicing. “sheet music? drums have sheet music?” he asked, and she scoffed. “yes, freddie. how else am i supposed to learn?” she replied, walking away. 

she decided to take an impromptu tour of the building. after seeing her leave, brian followed her out of the small practice room. “rogerina,” he called, and she turned around even though she was half way down the hall. “brian?” she asked, and he ran over to her. “what are you doing?” 

“walking with you,” he said simply, and she smiled at him. “okay,” she nodded, opening the door that led out of the one-roomed hallway. they were met with a two door dilemma. “the left one’s the performance hall and the right one’s upstairs,” he said, and she chose the left. 

the drums were set up on the stage along side empty microphone and guitar stands. “may i?” she asked, pointing to the drums. “please do,” brian said, going to sit on the floor of the empty room, since there were no seats. “this is step on me,” she clarified, and brian nodded. 

she played through the song excellently, making brian stand up to clap. “was it okay?” she asked rhetorically, and jumped down to where he was standing. “more than okay,” he said, stepping in front of her so that she was between him and the stage. “i’m glad,” she blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“i wish i could play like that on red special,” he said, and she looked puzzled. “red special?” she asked, making brian gasp loudly. he grabbed her hand and without a word, he dragged her back to the recording room. “this,” he said, picking up his guitar, “is red special.” rogerina snorted, laughing at the curly haired man. 

“he’s taken to you,” freddie said quietly, making her blush again. “he hasn’t,” she insisted, but inside, she hoped he had. he waved her attention over to him as he played step on me, just like she had earlier. “yes, darling, he has. nobody but us knows that’s his red special, and he certainly wasn’t as excited to tell us about it,” freddie said wisely. 

“hey fred, which version should i play tonight?” john asked, and everyone in the room froze. “tonight?” rogerina asked. “well, about that-,” freddie started, but she put her finger up at him. “you don’t even have sheet music for me and there’s a gig tonight?” she demanded, and nobody said anything. “you sounded perfectly fine earlier,” brian finally said, trying to help. she made eyes at him before turning her attention to freddie again, gaze burning. 

“darling, you need to calm down, please. this will be okay, you’re a good drummer,” freddie said. “that’s not good enough,” she said, her voice lower and somehow more scary than her yelling. “rogie,” freddie tried, but she stormed out yet again. 

she went back to the drums, playing out her feelings in a place roger couldn’t yell at her or where freddie couldn’t annoy her. she started playing space oddity by david bowie. “that sounds great,” john said softly, standing in the door way of the room. rogerina let out a sigh, hanging her head. “thank you,” she replied, looking up to meet his eyes. 

“freddie irritates me, too. i write my own sheet music, when i need it. it sounds like you don’t,” he said, walking over to rest his elbows on the stage. “well, i don’t,” she admitted, adjusting her hi-hat and crash cymbals. “then please, rogerina, don’t throw more hissyfits than needed,” he said simply, and she smiled at him. “you’re the first person to ever be real with me,” she admitted, and he smiled. 

“come then, let’s go talk to fred and bri, okay? we’ll explain our feelings there,” he said, holding his arms out to help her off the stage. his large hands gripped her small waist and he brought her to the floor. “thank you,” she said again, and he just hummed in response. 

they made their way back to the room, smiling like idiots and laughing at a joke john made. “are you two done?” brian asked, visibly annoyed. “i’m fine, thank you for asking. i think i can practice on this cajon,” she said, pulling one out of the corner. “that’s a cajon?” freddie asked, making rogerina laugh despite her trying to convey her anger. 

they practiced until they had to go on stage, all feeling prepared for the night ahead of them. it was rogerina’s debut, and she wasn’t going to mess up- not even one bit.


	3. i want to break free from your lies

the show was the biggest adrenaline rush rogerina had ever had. there was sweat everywhere and tears running down her face in happiness. 

“we did it,” she said, smiling. she wiped the tears away, and the three older men smiled back at her. “no, you did it,” john said, and rogerina didn’t miss when brian glared at him. she hugged all three of them, trying not to smell them or have them smell her, just in case she didn’t smell flower-fresh. 

“hey, we’re going to the bar above the venue to talk to fans, do you want to come?” freddie asked, and she nodded. “of course! let me just go grab my money,” she said, running to the door that lead backstage. “what do you want?” freddie asked. “anything!” she replied, jogging to the practice room she’d left her purse in. 

as she looked, she tore off her shirt, unable to breathe from how hot she was. “rogerina, i- WOAH,” brian said, walking in on her in just her bralette. “brian!” she screamed, trying to cover up, but it was no use. “it’s fine, brian. just don’t stare,” she mumbled, going to look for her purse again. 

“rogerina,” brian said, and she whipped around to look at him. he was holding her little hand bag high above his head, teasing her. “oh, you asshole-,” she said, going to jump for it. she put her hands on his shoulders, tried to step on his knees, and everything in between, but still to no avail. she tried one last thing which usually worked. 

“c’mon,” she said softly, putting her hands on his chest. he lowered himself a little, or at least enough so that she could lock lips with him. at first, he was to stunned to move, but he quickly started kissing back, to which he lowered his hand. rogerina quickly snatched the bag and ran with it. 

“haha!” she announced, waving it around from the other side of the room. brian went to lunge for her, and she squealed, getting out of the way of his attack. “rogie!” he exclaimed, and she stopped for a moment, basking in his nickname use. she was too slow, which ended in her capture. 

brian tilted her head up to kiss her again, hands on her jaw. his touch was gentle, but his kiss was not. it felt like every pent up emotion brian had ever felt was in this kiss. she quickly came to her senses and wrapped her arms around brian’s neck, wrapping her fingers in his mop of curls slightly. 

when she pulled away, he went in for a few more chaser kisses, making her giggle. “let me pay for your drinks,” he said, and she agreed, wiping her kiss swollen lips off on her hand. “and put your shirt on, rogie. nobody’s allowed to see you undressed,” he winked as he left the room. 

once she knew he was gone, she put her shirt on while doing a victory dance. she was pulling a college boy, something no other girls in her grade were doing. she knew brian wouldn’t want to officially be anything until she was older, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t fool around until then. 

she straightened her hair out and grabbed her bag, speed walking to the bar. when she entered, it was packed to the brim with people talking to each other. at the center of it all was smile, only missing their little drummer girl. when brian caught her eye, he waved at her and gestured for her to sit in his lap. 

she began to push past people, saying excuse me’s and sorries along the way. one girl whipped around to yell at her. “excuse me little girl, this is a bar! get your sorry ass out of here!” the woman yelled in her face, breath reeking of alcohol. “i’m part of the band,” she said frankly, pointing to where brian, john, and freddie were all looking disappointed in this woman for holding up rogerina. 

the woman turned back around quickly, and rogerina finally made it to the boys. “hello,” she said, a little out of breath. they all smiled at her, and freddie handed her a coke. “thank you,” she said, cheers-ing to no one before she sipped it gingerly. “so, how was your first performance?” brian asked, making her flush. 

“amazing. this is the best thing i’ve ever done, period,” she said, and freddie awed. “you’re like the little sister i’ve always wanted,” he said, and john looked at him weirdly. “you have a little sister,” he said, and rogerina snorted. “i said that i wanted, deaky. thank you,” freddie scoffed. 

“hey, i think i’m going to go freshen up really quick, okay? i’ll be right back,” she said, setting her coke on the table to rush to the bathroom. chat idled, not wanting to talk about their odd feelings towards rogerina. fans asked for hugs and autographs and the like, but everyone lightened up when they saw rogerina’s blonde hair like a needle in a haystack of club-goers. the only thing that was weird is that she seemed lost when she knew exactly where the band was sitting. 

“rogie!” brian called, and they could all see the blonde float through the sea of brunette. “how do you know my nickname?” he demanded, and they all realized this wasn’t rogerina. it was pretty damn close, but not quite. just then, rogerina was staring face to face in what could’ve been a gender swap mirror. 

“roger?” she exclaimed, looking shocked. he seemed just as surprised. “rogerina? what are you doing here?” he asked, and she slapped her head. she gestured to the three men in chairs, and he made a face. “you’re fucking them?” he asked, and they all went to defend themselves. 

“i’m their drummer,” she said overtop of them, and their conversation halted. “you’re a drummer? in a band?” roger asked. “yes,” she said, glad he understood what she was saying. roger paused a second, looking between the older men and his twin. 

“i’m sorry, smile, but it seems my whore sister is going crazy! i don’t know what you put in her drink, but she will be going home now,” roger said, putting his hands on her shoulders. “you’re not leaving with her until we know she knows you,” freddie said, stopping roger. 

“this is roger, my twin brother. he’s three minutes older, therefore he thinks he’s superior,” she said, and roger crossed his arms. “you’re really in this band, huh,” he said, and she punched him in the chest. “yes, you dick,” she said, going to grab her drink again. brian handed it to her so she didn’t have to reach. 

“and you really aren’t fucking them?” roger asked. brian made a face at rogerina as she shook her head. “no, i’m not. i’m not that much of a whore,” she said, and he laughed. “so that’s three guys you haven’t fucked. what a record,” he said, and she glared at him. 

“don’t discuss this anymore,” freddie said, a little disgusted, but more towards roger. “sorry, freddie,” she said, and he reached out for her hand. “must you go?” he asked. she shot a glare back to roger, telling freddie she could stay. “oh, sit next to brian, dear,” he said. 

“what am i going to tell mom when she sees your bed empty?” roger asked, worried until his two friends showed up next to him. “rogerina,” one of them said, winking at her. she didn’t respond, and the two friends walked around behind her. one of them swooped down for a kiss which she pulled away from. “c’mon, give your boyfriend a kiss,” the first one said. “i’m not your girlfriend, josh,” she said, not meeting his eyes. 

“oh, come on, babe. unless you’re busy on a service call,” he said, backing up, making him and the guy behind him laugh. “leave her alone,” brian said cooly. “you really are working! i hope you get paid good money,” josh said, turning around to talk to roger. brian stood up and grabbed the back of his collar, choking him. 

“i said, leave her alone,” he annunciated. “you can’t do shit to me,” the teenager said. “watch me, fucker,” brian said, raising his fist to punch the kid in the face, but rogerina caught his arm before he could. “just go home, josh. get out of here,” she said, and the three boys ran out of the bar. 

“hey,” rogerina said, grabbing brian’s face. “look at me,” she murmured, making brian look into her eyes. he slowed his breathing, becoming less and less angry as he looked at her. “you have pretty eyes,” he said, and she blushed. “thank you,” she said, hugging him. he knew it was for sticking up for her, but he just insisted that her eyes really were pretty. 

“well, i think we should get out of here,” john said, getting up to pay the tab. “why is he paying? i said i would pay for my drink,” she said, pointing to him at the cash register across the room. “just pay him,” freddie said, standing up. “c’mon, darling. let’s get you home.” 

... 

the band’s van was parked outside of rogerina’s pristine, expensive house. “this is a nice house,” brian said. he was sitting in the back with her, holding her hand as she leaned on him. john was driving, and freddie was singing, as always. “my dad’s never home- that’s how he pays for it. he’s always ‘working’,” she said, air-quoting working. 

“i’m sorry, rogie. i wish you didn’t have to go back to this miserable place if you don’t want to,” freddie said. “oh, it’s just life. though i do have homework i have to do,” she said. “it would be cool if you were old enough and the right gender for your mom to allow you to spend the night,” brian said wistfully. 

“well, why don’t i just tell my mum i’m going to a friend’s?” she said, smirking slyly. “you can’t lie,” brian said, and she laughed. “why wouldn’t i? i do it all the time,” she admitted, getting out of the car without chance of protest from the others. “she’s just like you,” john said, poking freddie. he just shoved john, laughing. 

“what do you think will happen if her mom catches her not at that friend’s house?” brian asked nervously. “she won’t. why are you so worried?” john asked. brian didn’t answer. “i just think she shouldn’t be alone with guys,” brian shrugged, and freddie rolled his eyes dramatically. 

“you’re a guy too. and it’s not like we’re going to put our dicks in her,” john said, and freddie nodded. “we aren’t those guys she sleeps with,” freddie added. “that was weird, wasn’t it? what roger and those boys did?” john said, and freddie nodded. “she may be a whore, but that’s her choice. no need to shame her for it. let her be,” he said, slouching in his seat and lighting a cigarette. “well, if she’s a whore, how do we know-.” 

“enough,” brian said, tired of listening to them talk about the logistics of their slutty drummer. “bri,” freddie said, looking back at him with knowing eyes. brian became uncomfortable, hoping he wasn’t found out. “are you really trying to have sex with her?” freddie asked, and john laughed. 

“n-no,” brian said, shaking his head. his curls bounced around his face. “good, because she’s too young, darling. sorry,” freddie said. after a few seconds of silence, john put his head against the headrest. “were you thinking about it though?” he asked, and freddie laughed. “john!” brian yelled, and they laughed more at brian’s expense. 

rogerina got back into the car with her book bag in hand, tucking a change of clothes inside of it clumsily. “what did i miss?” she asked, smiling brightly. “nothing much,” brian said, and she immediately took her place snuggled up against him. john and freddie shot a look at him, then laughed at themselves as john took off down the road. “what was that about?” she asked, and brian shook his head. “you don’t want to know. you really do not want to know.”


	4. you’re so self satisfied; i don’t need you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE THEMES/NON CON/UNDERAGE

the four of them were laughing as they got out of the van and made their way into freddie and john’s apartment they shared. brian lived with his roommate on campus, unlike the singer and bassist. 

“this is the most fun i’ve had in years,” rogerina announced, and freddie smiled while john unlocked the door. “it should be, darling! we’re the most fun people on earth,” he said, entering behind his roommate. brian put his hand in the small of rogerina’s back as he guided her in. 

they had a two bedroom one bathroom studio apartment. the first room that you walk in to is the small kitchen, but it was big enough for pairs to walk side by side in. then, to the left was the dining room and hallway to the bedrooms and bathroom. to right was the living room, which is where freddie guided everyone. 

“make yourselves at home,” john said with fake enthusiasm, going to get a beer from the fridge. “thank you. what a wonderful home you have,” rogerina in awe. “this isn’t a home, dear. it’s a dwelling, for our spirits, of course,” freddie said, lighting a cigarette again. 

“may i have one?” she asked, pointing to the carton. “is this a trick question?” he replied, and she frowned. “are you the cool big brother or are you the tattletale?” she asked, and he immediately handed her a cig and his zippo. she lit it up and took a drag, relaxing her shoulders with a sigh. 

john walked back in with his drink and flopped on the couch. “and what to do now,” he said openly, looking for suggestions. “20 questions,” freddie said ultimately. “but first pajamas. i have a lot to ask you, dear,” he said, pointing to rogerina. 

rogerina ruffled through her bag, trying to find her pajamas, realizing she forgot them at home. she smoked waited until everyone was in their pjs and congregated to the living room again. “why aren’t you getting comfy?” brian asked, and she took one final drag, putting the butt out in an ash tray on the side table. “i hate to ask this as a guest, but is there any way i could borrow something to sleep in?” she asked, and freddie jumped up. “follow me, dear,” he said, guiding her into his bedroom. 

“i accidentally took some things of my sister’s when i left, and these are a few of them. sleep in what you like, rogie,” he said, leaving her with options. she went for black bootie shorts and a plain oversized dark green tee shirt. 

when she walked back into the living room, she was met with the three men sitting in a circle, each holding beers, and freddie had just put out a cigarette. “cute and comfy, i like it,” freddie smiled, and so did she. she looked to john and brian for approval, and john was just smiling and biting his lip slightly, while brian looked wide-eyed like when he saw her shirtless. 

she sat down between the two aforementioned men. “so, who’s asking me questions?” 

“do tell why you wanted to join the band,” freddie said, and she didn’t even have to think. “i wanted to get back into drums and i want to make it big,” she said, and the three nodded for lack of better response. 

“do you think we’ll ever make it big?” freddie asked, and she scoffed. “of course i do, why else would i join?” she replied, smiling. “true, true,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “can i get one of those?” she asked, but everyone grabbed ahold of their beers tightly to hide them away from her. “it’s our turn to ask questions,” freddie reminded her, pointing to john. 

“i’ve got some personal ones,” he said, and she waved her hand for him to continue. “if we’re going to be a well functioning band, we need to know each other better,” she said, and he laughed. “ah, well, okay. roger said earlier you were a whore. what exactly does he mean by that?” he asked, and brian went to defend her, but freddie shushed him. 

“he means i seep around. i have, but i don’t really anymore. it’s still my reputation,” she said, reaching her hand out to ask for john’s bottle. he told her no, but he was impressed at her response to his question. “how many sexual partners have you had?” freddie asked, and brian also went to say something, but this time, rogerina shushed him. 

“5 that i truly count. the real number is around 10, but only 5 were consensual,” she said, and they went silent. “it’s no big deal, i just-.” 

“have ever been allowed to make it a big deal?” brian asked, and it puzzled her. “no, not really,” she said, leaning back against her arms. “this may be an odd time, but you can tell us about it, just to process it. rape is trauma, and in your case, childhood trauma,” he said, setting his hand on her leg. 

“i’m okay, i promise,” she said. “it’s been a while, i grieved for myself alone.” she looked around, but everyone had a pitied look on their face. “please, can we do something normal? if not this game then another,” she insisted, and freddie let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “how about a movie?” he suggested, not waiting for them to answer him yet again. 

rogerina got up and went into the kitchen, grabbing a beer. “hey, blondie! that’s my beer!” john yelled. she opened it with the bottle opener on the wall above the stove. “and i thank you for sharing!” she replied, walking back in with a large gulp. “we can’t have you getting drunk,” freddie said. “if you think one beer is enough to get me drunk, you’re wrong. i can hold my own,” she said, and no one disputed her. 

“oh, come on. you can’t just see me as the sad, pitiful girl now that you know i’ve been raped. it’s in my past. i don’t dwell on it, and neither will any of you,” she threatened, sipping her drink again. “we’re just sad for you,” brian said, and she put her head in his lap. 

“you don’t think less of me?” she asked, and everybody told her no. “okay, well now i feel better,” she said, sitting up to drink more. the movie began to play, and it was monty python’s life of brian. 

“i hate this movie,” brian complained, and rogerina moved off of him. “how ironic,” she said, leaning her back against the couch facing the tv. brian laid down on it behind her, and the other two sat on either side of her. she watched intently, and everyone watched her. 

when she noticed she was the only one laughing at the jokes, she got up to pause the movie. “stop being weird,” she said, kneeled in front of the tv. “was it josh?” john asked, and brian hit him in the head. he went to apologize on his behalf, but rogerina protested. “yes. twice. the other three were the other guy, samuel, and one more of roger’s friends. he has no idea,” she said. 

“are we just going to talk about my rape? because it’s not going to make me cry, if that’s what you want,” she said, crossing her arms. “when was the last time someone hugged you? like, actually held you in their arms to comfort you?” brian asked. “when freddie hugged me,” she said simply. “and before that?” brian pressed, but she had no answers. 

“oh, rogie,” freddie said, and her lips was starting to quiver. “we don’t want you to cry, now, or ever. we just want you to see that it’s okay to have emotions and not always be in the defensive,” john said. she finally broke, and brian held out his arms. 

she climbed onto him, crying into his chest as she laid on him on the couch. “play the movie,” he whispered, and john moved to do so, but nobody really watched it. they all listened for rogerina’s cries to stop, her breathing to slow, and for her to fall asleep on brian. 

“would it be so bad if i just kissed her?” brian asked, voice low and laced in tiredness. “i don’t know, brian, i’m not her, her mom, or a police officer. just don’t fuck this up, okay?” freddie said. “don’t make her leave us, bri,” john said supportively, not being supportive at all. 

he and freddie curled up on the floor with pillows and blankets. “goodnight, fred. goodnight, deaky,” brian said, petting rogerina’s hair. “night,” they replied, too tired for anything more. 

... 

rogerina was the first to wake up, unfortunately extremely early, smushed in between a heavy blanket and brian. she wanted to stay there forever. 

instead of rolling over or getting up to pee, she just buried her nose into brian’s shirt, inhaling deeply. she hummed in satisfaction, smiling to herself. this had all happened so fast, and she wouldn’t’ve wanted it any other way. she laid listening to brian’s breathing and heart beating for a while. she didn’t notice that he had woken up until he had spoken. 

“mm, morning, rogie,” he said, and she put her hand over his heart. “morning, bri,” she replied, not starting any further conversation. it was peaceful to just listen to brian, feeling his chest move up and down with each breath. they both looked out of the large windows overlooking the city from the apartment. 

“i wish every day would start like this,” she said, and brian put his hand on her head. he smoothed out her hair a little, which she smiled from. “i also wish to wake up like this. to see you, smiling bright. to see freddie and john, my best friends, by my side. to see the beautiful sun rise with a beautiful girl like you,” he said, and she tried to hold back a smile. 

“thank you for being so sweet, brian,” she said, reaching a hand up to touch his face gently. she sat up on his lap, leaning down to kiss him softly. he smiled as she kissed him, knowing he treated her better than any other guy she’d been with, which made him feel okay with the fact she wasn’t as innocent as she should be as a 16 year old. 

he suddenly pulled away from her, and she pouted. “what’s wrong?” she whispered, sitting back on her legs, most of her weight shifted to brian’s hips. “i’m 23. rogerina, i’m 23 years old. this isn’t healthy,” he said, and she just frowned some more. “i don’t see the problem with it,” she shrugged. “that’s the thing,” brian explained, setting his hands on her thighs. “this is wrong. this is borderline illegal. i feel like i’m taking advantage of you,” he said, and she gasped. 

“you aren’t taking advantage of me, brian. i promise. i want to kiss you. very, very bad,” she said, lowering her voice at the last part. she kissed him softly, and he sighed. she stopped and laid back on top of him, her face near his neck and a mouthful of curly hair. “do you want me?” she asked, felling self conscious. 

“you can’t ask me that, rogie. you know i do,” he said, and she felt better. “are we going to do this anymore?” she asked, wrapping her arms and legs around him as best as she could. “i don’t know. we’ll have to see,” he said, kissing her neck. “can i kiss you this last time?” she asked, hovering over his face. her eyes were darting between his eyes and his lips, and she tugged her lower lip in by her teeth. 

he smiled and nodded, and rogerina crashed her lips into his. she laced her fingers through curls and knots and tangles while just found a place in her blonde bedhead and held her close. she opened her mouth and sparks flew. 

she pulled away shortly thereafter, smiling sadly. brian kissed her one last time. “i think i’m going to shower,” she said, getting up to get her clothes from her book bag. brian sat up and watched her do so. she waved to him as she walked out of sight, but then she noticed something that she hadn’t when she first had gotten up. 

“morning, freddie. morning, john,” she said, continuing her path to the bathroom without worry. “morning,” they said in unison, and as soon as she was out of sight, they whipped around to yell at brian. 

he put his hand up, stopping them. “it’s over,” he said, and they cooled down. “i can’t believe you almost got lucky with a 16 year old,” john said. “and on our sofa,” freddie added, and brian groaned as he threw himself back on the couch. what a wonderful way to start a sunday.


	5. i’ve got to break free

rogerina stepped out of the shower into hot, steamy air. she towel dried her hair partly, then put on a pair of worn highwater jeans and a plain white long sleeve shirt. she wrapped her hair up in her towel and stepped out into the hall. she stretched and walked into the living room. 

john was in the kitchen making breakfast while brian was watching the news and freddie was finishing up his song. “listen to this: sister i live and lie for you, mister do and i'll die, you are mine, i possess you, i belong to you forever,” he read and john nodded as he flipped pancakes. 

“sing it,” rogerina said, sitting across from him on the couch. brian couldn’t bring himself to look at her, but freddie smiled brightly. he did so for her, and it made her smile. “i love that,” she said, and then they both sang it. “now i’m sold,” john announced from the kitchen, starting to make eggs. 

“what’s it called?” brian asked, not turning around. rogerina rolled her eyes. “seven seas of rhye,” he said, getting up to serve himself to the food john was finished making. rogerina followed, but she wasn’t very hungry. 

john went to change, passing by her as he left the kitchen. he tapped her shoulder, and she turned to smile at him. brian rolled his eyes, and rogerina glared at him, eating her pancake quickly. she sat back down on the couch feeling a little defeated. 

she pulled out her homework, starting with the math portion to get it over and done with. then she started on english, finishing that as easily as she did math. then was science, her favorite. “are you actually doing homework?” freddie asked. “i need to get into a good college if this doesn’t work out,” she said, moving on to her history work. 

john walked out of the bathroom, his naturally poofy hair damp. “you look like a wet poodle,” she said, and he stopped where he stood, simply saying,” and you look like a wet shih tzu. get a hairdryer.” 

rogerina laughed, but freddie and brian looked surprised. john usually never said things like that to them and they weren’t expecting it. “did that just happen?” freddie asked brian. he just still looked wide-eyed in john’s direction. “why is this such a big deal?” rogerina asked, putting away her homework. 

“john isn’t that mean,” freddie said, and rogerina shook her head. “i don’t think so. i also think he’s just messing around,” she said, getting up to put her book bag by the door. “what are we doing today, by the way?” she asked, sitting on the living room floor to put on her shoes. 

“we usually write songs or practice,” john said, and he sat on the floor with his back up against a couch. “no,” rogerina announced. “we aren’t doing that, or at least i’m not. sunday is the last day of the weekend. today we’re having fun. i have school tomorrow and i want to be hung over as fuck,” she said proudly. “no you don’t,” brian said offhandedly. 

“no i don’t,” she said in the same tone as before. “but i want to go to a party or a bar tonight. can we?” she asked, scooting over to where freddie was sat on the couch and john was in front of him. she grabbed each of their hands and made puppy dog eyes, and they both groaned. 

“fine,” freddie said. “but you have to be on your best behavior rogie,” he warned. “why would you be worried about me? i’m perfect!” rogerina said, and everyone agreed with her begrudgingly. 

...

“hey, handsome,” rogerina said, walking up to a man almost double her age. “what’s a cutie like you doing in a place like this?” the man asked. he was physically imposing, especially to rogerina. he was a little bit taller than brian and a lot more muscular than any of them were. 

“i’m just here for a good time,” she said, sipping a moscow mule. “you’re so young to be hitting the hard stuff,” the man said, leaning closer to her. he put his hand on her hip, which she just looked at before continuing. “you’re never too old to start your alcohol tolerance,” she smiled. “but you are too young. she sixteen,” brian said to him, coming up behind her and snatching her drink away. the man got up and walked away, his face disgusted. 

“why would you do that?” she asked, turning to yell at him. he took a sip of her drink, but spit it right back into her cup. “that is so disgusting,” he said, setting it on the bar. “i know, i wasn’t really drinking it,” she admitted, but she still punched brian in the arm. 

“why did you chase him off?” she asked angrily. “you’re a meter and a half tall and you weigh 45 kilos. you’re not very scary,” brian said. “what about it?” she demanded, crossing her arms. “that man wasn’t planning to just take you home, rogie,” brian said. 

“no, no, no. just because you think you’re protecting me by not letting me getting involved with you doesn’t mean you get to play the big brother card,” she said. “if i wanted someone to tell me what i can and can’t do, i would just go home,” she finished, getting up and walking away from him. 

she went to go find the other two and hopefully sit with them, but she found them with girls climbing onto their laps in the back. she stomped off to the bathroom, trying not to cry. brian ruined her fun and freddie and john obviously were doing fine without her. 

she pushed open the door and stood in front of the mirror, leaning in to fix her hair. john was right, she should’ve used a hair dryer. her hair was extremely frizzy and her bangs had separated weirdly. she pulled a compact brush out of her purse and used it to try and straighten her hair as best as she could. 

she gave up halfway through with a sigh. “i can’t fucking do anything right,” she mumbled to herself, starting to cry as she slid down the wall to the floor in the bathroom. a lady walked in, going to do the same thing as rogerina, only with more poise. 

“you look beautiful, there’s nothing to worry about,” rogerina said from the floor. “thank you. i didn’t even see you there. are you even old enough-,” the woman said, but rogerina held her hand out to stop her. “no, i’m not, but i’m okay. i just wish i was older and had someone who could take care of me. definitely not those fucking idiots,” she said, pointing to the direction of the bar. “who are you here with?” the woman asked. she extended her hand out to rogerina who took it reluctantly and stood up. 

“my kind-of ex, my older brother, and the guy who hits on me for fun,” she said, crossing her arms. “they don’t sound very fun,” the woman said, walking out of the bathroom. rogerina followed on whim. “they aren’t. see, that’s them,” she replied, pointing them out. 

the woman turned to her with an ecstatic face. “you’re here with smile and you’re complaining?” the woman asked, and rogerina rolled her eyes. “i’m their new drummer. they don’t impress me that much,” she said, and the woman grabbed her arms. “can you take me to meet them?” she asked, and rogerina made a face. 

“i know this is self centered, but you were supposed to be helping me. those assholes made my life hell,” she said, pointing generally. “and you said one was your ex! is he available now?” the woman said, completely dismissive of rogerina. “absolutely not!” the teenager lied, but felt bad for doing so. she wasn’t over him yet; it had literally been hours and the wound wasn’t healed. 

“i feel like we’re fending off madwomen every time we go out with you,” john said, walking up and putting his hand on the small of rogerina’s back like he did earlier this morning. “john deacon?” the woman exclaimed, and he seemed surprised. “a fan,” rogerina explained. “sweetheart, please leave our drummer alone. she’s new, and we kinda need her to do her job. have a nice night,” he said to the woman, then guided rogerina back to the booth he and freddie were sat at. 

“i don’t want to be here anymore,” she said, pouting. “it was one time, are you really going to let a fan-.” rogerina cut off someone for the second time that night. “brian ruined my night. i was going to go home with someone. i was having fun. then i saw you two with the dancers. how was that?” she asked, a little bit of attitude in her voice. neither of them answered. 

“i just don’t know what the disconnect here is or how to solve it,” she said, ordering a beer. “rogie, you’re eight years younger than me, 7 than brian, and 6 than john. you’re here for fun and we’re here for you,” freddie said. he let it sit with her for a while. her beer arrived and she downed half of it. “if you’re here for me, i’m ready to leave. let’s go.” 

her eyes were wet, but she got up from the booth to let john out. he grabbed her hand as they walked to the door, leaving freddie to find brian. “i’m sorry,” john said. “for what?” she asked, her voice a telltale sign of her about to cry. “this. we shouldn’t’ve let you come. you’re not our age, and you won’t be for some time. just be a teen, rogie,” he said, petting her hair. “i am being a teen, john. what did you do 6 years ago?” she demanded, looking to his eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. “i sure as hell don’t think you were prude, or sober, for that matter,” she said, pushing his hand away. “i’m walking,” she said, and started off down the street. 

...

when she arrived home, the only cars in the driveway were roger’s and his friends from the night before. with dread, she walked up to the front door and knocked on it. roger quickly answered the door. 

“what are you doing here without your boys?” he asked, and joshua and samuel were by his side in an instant. “i walked home from the pub. let me in,” she demanded, but none of them budged. she shook her head and waited, but then decked roger in the face. “i said move, shithead,” she said, walking right past him and up the stairs into her room. 

when she got to the landing, she sighed. the last time she was here, she was full of hope and joy. now, she had a failed relationship, probably three ruined friendships, and out of a job. she also remembered that her book bag was still at john and freddie’s. “goddamnit.” 

there was a knock at the door, and she ran to answer it, but only got halfway down the stairs before roger answered it. it was brian, and she was holding her book bag. 

“hello, is rogerina here?” he asked, and roger laughed. “what if she is?” he replied. brian looked around and caught sight of her on the stairs. he smiled and held up her bookbag. it reminded her of when he had her purse. with a sad smile, she walked down the stairs to retrieve her bag. 

“thank you,” she said, hugging him. “no problem, rogie,” he said, and he stood in the doorway awkwardly. “you should get that fixed,” he said, pointing to roger’s nose. he covered it with his hand. “i will,” he said, with no ifs, ands, or buts, and most surprisingly, no blame or retaliation. 

“see you at practice wednesday?” brian asked, moving back to rogerina. “yeah, i guess so,” she said, and smiled. “goodnight, brian,” she said softly. “goodnight, rogie,” he replied, rubbing her arm before he took off down the side walk. he waved back at roger, who was completely entranced as he waved back. 

the night was refueled with newly found hope, but it only fueled to rogerina’s drowsiness. the vodka had gotten to her and she crawled in to bed, only taking off her pants. “i just want him,” she mumbled to herself, curling into the fetal position. “just let me have him.”


	6. god knows; god knows i’ve got to break free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of just a filler chapter ... more to come.

life was uneventful until wednesday, of course. school was always boring to both of the twins, partly because it came easy to them and because all they wanted to do was play instruments and make music. 

rogerina was home from school first that day, not starting on her homework but instead heading straight to the drums. when she was in the room, she kicked her shoes off and rolled down her knee high socks, making her school uniform less formal, even though she was still wearing the leggings, skirt, button up, and tie parts. she wanted to practice before the actual practice, especially since she didn’t really have time to do so during the week. she played through blag, making tweaks here and there to make the play through easier and much more tolerable to listen to. 

“why am i always finding you in this room?” roger asked, walking in alone. “because i’m always in here,” she said, setting the drum sticks down. “you can have it if you want it. i have practice later anyways,” she said, getting up to let him have the seat, but he didn’t move for it. 

“actually, as fake as this sounds, i cane to apologize for josh and sam,” he said, and rogerina was definitely surprised. “apologize? roger taylor? i’m listening,” she said, and he did so. “well, thank you,” she said. “but there are just some things you can’t apologize for.” roger looked extremely confused. “what do you mean?” he demanded. “they- they, uh-,” rogerina tried to explain, but it was really hard to without feeling like she was going to be told she was crazy. 

“believe me or not, but they- they’ve done some things to me, roger. things that are unforgivable and illegal,” she said, trying not to say the r-word aloud, because if she did, it would’ve been real. “we all smoke and drink, you do it too,” roger exclaimed, jumping on her. “no, no, i know that,” she said. “they did things to me. and other girls. things we didn’t ask for,” she said, putting her hands on her stomach. 

“rogie, they didn’t,” he said in disbelief. his face fell as she dropped her head and nodded. “rogie i will fucking kill them-,” he started, but she hugged him to get him to stop talking. “that’s all i’ve wanted to hear since it happened,” she said, and he hugged her back. “but please don’t kill them.” roger pulled her closer, rubbing her back. “i won’t kill them. unless they do it again,” he warned, making rogerina laugh. 

“is that all you wanted to talk about?” rogerina asked, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “no... who was that guy who dropped off your stuff last night?” roger asked, and rogerina laughed. “that’s brian. my kind of ex,” she said. “why?” roger blushed and said nothing. “oh my god! do you have a thing for him?” she exclaimed. she thought accusing roger of being gay would get under his skin and make him go back to being normal, but he didn’t do anything of the sort. 

“i didn’t say that,” he said, turning to leave. “and besides, it’s none of your business,” he finished, slamming the door behind him. rogerina made a face and laughed at whatever just happened. “he’s gay for brian... oh, freddie’s going to love this.” 

...

“and get this: my heteronormative brother may have just told me he’s gay for brian. big time,” she explained to freddie, helping him and deaky carry amps and other supplies in to the venue. “and you’re okay with that?” he asked, concerned. “of course i am! i’m proud of roger!” she said, setting the amp she was carrying down in the practice room. 

“i don’t believe you. for some reason, i think you’re still hung up on brian,” freddie said, mock thinking for a while. “oh yeah, it’s because you are!” he pointed to her. “being mad at him and not being over him are two totally different things,” she said, setting the equipment up for john. “besides, roger would be great with a guy like brian. they’re total opposites,” she said, sitting down in a chair next to freddie. 

“if you say so,” he said, and just then, brian walked in with red special. “speak of the devil,” rogerina said, pointing to him. “why were you talking about me?” he asked, putting his guitar on a stand. “oh, nothing. just boy things,” she said, waving dismissively. freddie laughed and shoved her a little bit, making her laugh too. 

“this is one of those things where i’m super confused but i still don’t want to know what’s going on,” he announced, turning to leave the room. john walked in, but immediately was confused. “roger,” freddie explained, as rogerina was still laughing. 

“seems like it shouldn’t be roger, if she’s laughing,” john replied, going to fix his amp, but found it already set up. he had a surprised face when he turned to look back at the two sitting in the middle of the room. rogerina was still laughing, but freddie was pointing from the amp to her, and it made john smile and bite his lip. 

“let’s take a walk, rogie. we have some things to talk about,” john said, reaching his hand down for her to grab. she did and stood up, but she never let go of his hand. they took off, rogerina still chuckling a bit and john just let it happen. 

brian walked back in, confused at only seeing freddie. “you’ve totally fucked it up,” he said casually. “what else could i have done?” brian demanded. “i didn’t mean the band, i meant rogie. she’s out of it today. she spent time with roger,” freddie explained, and brian was lost for words. 

“oh my god,” freddie said, standing up and putting his notebook and pencil on his seat behind him. “you have a thing for roger!” he yelled, grabbing brian’s shoulders and shaking them. “no!” he defended. “i do not! i could not, and i would not. not to rogie,” he said, pushing freddie away. 

“the heart wants what it wants, bri. yours just so happens to want roger! who are you to deny it such things?” freddie asked, and brian rolled his eyes. “i just can’t stand the fact that it could hurt rogie. i never want to hurt her again,” he said, defeated. 

“trust me, darling. she won’t be mad at you. in fact, she told me she’s proud of roger,” freddie said. “roger’s gay?” brian asked, a little more hope in his voice. “yes, for you,” freddie said. “amazing,” brian said, mostly to himself, in bewilderment. 

... 

after practice, freddie, john, and rogerina stayed back to help her master the crash cymbal/high tom parts in earth. brian left almost as soon as it had finished, claiming that he had to do something for his roommate before he got back from work. nobody really paid attention to him, figured he was the most grown and could take care of himself. 

after helping rogerina, john and freddie graciously offered to drop her off at her house, to which she agreed. “is that- is that brian’s car?” she asked, squinting, trying to see the back part of the driveway. sure enough, brian’s car was parked way up there. “i’m going to kill him,” she said, throwing open her door. freddie and john got out after her quickly, knowing she wouldn’t kill someone, but she’d damn well hurt them enough that they’d wish she had. 

“which one?” john asked, and she just kept stomping up the lawn. “does it really matter right now?” freddie asked him, and they both picked up their speed when she entered the house. rogerina seemed murderous as she stalked around her house quiet. john and freddie followed, only there to keep her back from hurting someone. 

she cleared the whole downstairs and made it up to roger’s room. she threw open the door, and roger was sat shirtless on brian’s lap, kissing him deeply. they jumped apart and were breathing heavily. “what the fuck?” john asked, and rogerina seethed with anger.

“everything i have has to be yours too, doesn’t it?” she exclaimed, walking in to the room. “you told me i should go for him!” roger protested, standing up to be just as intimidating as rogerina. “not right now, dipshit! you’re so dense sometimes!” she yelled, and brian snuck past them to freddie and john’s care. 

“and you,” rogerina said, whirling around to point at brian. “you lied to us, then made out with my brother? after telling me you couldn’t be with me for my age? i can’t believe anything you say, can i?” she demanded, and brian couldn’t meet her eyes. “thats what i thought. you should leave, all of you,” she said, her eyes welling with tears. 

“rogie-,” brian tried. “out!” she yelled, pointing to the stairs. “nice fucking going, idiot,” john said, and they left without a word. “and you, roger. how could you?” she asked, turning to face him. “you said i could have him,” he repeated, neither of them yelling anymore. 

tears were rolling down both of their cheeks, and they just stood 10 feet apart, unable to think of anymore things to say or arguments to yell about. “i’m sorry. for what it’s worth, i’m sorry,” roger said. rogerina burst into a full-on sob and she hugged him around the neck. he hugged her back, trying not to cry anymore for her sake. 

“why does this always happen to us, roger? why?” she asked, pulling away to wipe her watery cheeks. “i don’t know, rogie. but it gets better,” he assured her, and they both sighed. “it better, or all this shit we’re going through will not be worth it at all.”


	7. i’ve fallen in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is chock full of things that i hope will make you all happy, but also a warning: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE/NON CON.

slowly but surely, friday rolled around. rogerina wasn’t really sure if she was up for practice, let alone a gig. she still felt out of place in the band, and completely off kilter in her own home. roger had already gone out with brian on a date yesterday, and he had come home with him that night. she had left bitterly, knowing clearer than ever before that age wasn’t what drove brian away from her. 

she decided on going anyways, as ditching the band wouldn’t do them any good. when she got home from school, she did some homework before she realized she had to leave for practice soon. she changed into a pink babydoll dress, white sneakers, and tied her hair up into a top knot. 

she hitched a ride from a friend who was headed back to school for an event, and the venue just so happened to be on the way. she thanked the friend and stepped out of the car, walking up to the old building casually. 

“hey, girlie,” a man called from the other side of the street. she just ignored him. “hey, bitch! i called you, you answer me!” he shouted, and she could tell he was coming closer by the way his voice carried. she quickened her pace, but he caught up to her and grabbed her waist. 

“don’t ignore me, pretty girl. that’s how you get hurt,” the man said, and his breath reeked of alcohol. rogerina tried to roll out of his grip, but he just grabbed on tighter. she could feel he was turned on by her resistance as he was pressed against her backside. “now hold on, this’ll just be a bit,” he said, trying to lift up her skirt and drag her back across the street where he was before. 

she started to cry silently until she saw brian burst through the front door of the venue. he raced down the steps and the man let go, taking off down the street. rogerina let herself fall to the pavement, body racked with sobs and incomplete breaths. brian reached out to her, and she melted into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck as she wept into his shoulder. 

he picked her up slowly and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “shh, shh. i’ve got you. you’re okay,” brian said, hoping to calm her down while he carried her to where john and freddie were in the back. 

she was still crying when they got there, but it was much more muffled and broken up by her hyperventilating. “what happened?” john demanded, reaching out to take her from brian’s arms. she let john take her, calming down even more when he sat in a chair. he pulled her hair down and started to rub her head soothingly, whispering softly into her ear. 

soon, she was calm enough to sip some water and stand up. she took her shoes off and walked from freddie on one side of the room to john on the other. she exhausted herself doing so and sat in john’s lap again with her back to his chest. 

“are you well enough to tell us now?” brian asked, sitting in front of her, hand on her knee. she nodded weakly and john rubbed her arm. “my friend dropped me off,” she started roughly, then coughed. “then, the man started to call at me. i ignored him. he followed me and grabbed me, and almost- he almost,” she said, hyperventilating again when she thought of what the man was planning to do. 

“hey, you’re okay now,” john said, wrapping his arms around her waist loosely, not wanting to trigger her more, but also wanting to comfort her. “am i?” she asked, and the men felt guilty. “i don’t feel good,” she said, getting up to find a trash can. she threw up, then sat next to it with defeat. 

freddie brought her a water and put her hair back up with the scrunchie john had taken off her earlier. “we’ll call off the gig for later and take you home, rogie,” he said, and she took a sip while shaking her head. “no, no you won’t. i came here to play, and that’s what i’m going to do,” she said bravely, then threw up again. “i’m only doing this because i made myself anxious.” 

“for a good reason,” john added, and she nodded her head. “but still, i’m okay. i promise,” she said, and leaned her head back against the wall. “we’ll only go on if you’re well enough,” freddie said, patting her shoulder and standing up. he walked over and grabbed the cajon for her and set it in front of her. “thank you,” she said, dragging it closer. 

everyone took their spots at the stands on the mini-stage in the room, all except rogerina. she played to the best of her abilities, which was pretty damn good. the only thing she asked for guidance on was the transition of doing alright to blag, which freddie taught her easily. 

at around six, they could hear people arriving in the main room as it was opposite of the back wall in the practice room. rogerina stood up and shook her hands, getting herself ready. john and freddie left to do physical warm ups in the hall, leaving brian and rogerina alone in the room. 

“thank you, brian. for as much as you hate me right now, thank you,” she said, brushing a stray hair behind her ear. she turned to look at him and he had a surprised look on his face. “rogie,” he said softly. “i don’t hate you at all. i thought you hated me,” he said, and she shook her head no. “of course i don’t, why would i?” she asked him, and then john burst through the door to tell them it was time to go. 

they all walked down the hall and onto the stage calmly, almost as if they were ignoring the screaming they were getting. rogerina waved to the crowd and they cheered more, making her smile. “hello and welcome! i’d like you to finally meet our new drummer, rogerina!” freddie said into the mic, and she did a drum riff which caused more cheers. 

“and with that, let’s start out with our little drummer girl’s favorite- step on me!” he said, and she counted off on her snare. once the band was playing, everything else seemed to disappear. the only thing that existed in rogerina’s world were her drums, freddie with his voice, john on the bass, and brian and red special. 

when the show was over, rogerina hopped off her stool and headed straight back to the practice room to cool down. it was almost midnight and she knew the boys would want to go out, but she just wasn’t feeling it. she would have roger pick her up and take her home so they wouldn’t have to go out of their way. 

freddie and john walked into the room with their arms around girls; one under each. “oh, rogie. meet uh,” freddie said, and she just waved her hand. “you have your fun,” she said, getting up to leave. “wait,” john said, and she turned around. they waited in silence, but he didn’t say anything except never mind. 

“goodbye,” she said generally, and the girls waved at her before climbing all over freddie and john. she was halfway through the hall when she heard the practice room door burst open. 

“rogie, wait,” john called, running down the hall towards her. he picked her up by her waist and kissed her, spinning her around slightly. she was surprised, but when she realized he was serious, she kissed him back, grabbing either side of his face. 

he pulled away laughing, and rogerina was smiling. she leaned her head so that their foreheads were touching. “you waited,” he said, slightly out of breath. she wiggled her legs so he would set her back down, but she kept her arms locked around his neck. “well when you say wait, that’s usually what people do,” she replied, and he laughed. 

“you don’t even want to know how long that took,” he said, moving his large hands from her hips to around her waist. she leaned up and kissed him again, making sure he knew that she was smiling. “me neither, but i’m glad it happened,” she said against his lips. 

“what would i ever do without you?” he asked rhetorically, backing himself up so that rogerina wasn’t pinned against a wall. “set up your own amp, i guess,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

“is there any way you could take me home?” she asked, and he stood up from the wall. “of course, rogie. let’s go,” he said, putting his arm around her waist and walked to the back parking lot with her. 

they drove back to her house listening to space oddity, and it made rogerina feel soft inside at the fact that he remembered the first song he heard her play on the drums. she listened to john sing and just let herself be happy for the first time in a long while. he caught her eye and smiled brightly, earning a smile back. 

when they arrived at her house, john turned the music down. they sat in a comfortable almost-silence, david bowie’s voice fading in and out with guitar and drums. “hey, so do you... do you want to come in?” rogerina asked, pointing towards her front door. nobody was home, evident by the amount of lights on in the home- none. 

“uh, yeah, sure,” john said, opening his door. rogerina opened hers and they stepped out at the same time. john followed her up the driveway and onto the porch, watching as she found the key in the mailbox. he put his hands on her waist as she opened the door, trying to warm both of them up in the biting cold. 

when they got inside, rogerina locked the door behind them. they stood in the foyer awkwardly, shivering and smiling at each other. she stepped up close to him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him softly. 

his hands quickly found a place on her lower back. he spread his fingers slightly and pulled her closer, making her laugh slightly. he accidentally backed into a light switch, illuminating the whole foyer in a bright white light. 

“ah, fuck,” rogerina laughed, shielding her eyes. john quickly turned it off, embarrassed. rogerina was laughing so hard she could barely stand. “it’s not that funny,” john pouted, and she pecked him on the lips before laughing some more. 

“we’ll see what’s funny when i-,” john said with fake malice, scooping her up bridal style, making her squeal. he carried her up the stairs and to her room (when she had pointed it out, of course). he dropped her on the bed and tickled her, to which she tried to push him away and laughed more at. 

he finally stopped and rolled over next to her, both breathing heavily. she curled in on him, wrapping one leg around his and one arm around his chest. “can you stay the night?” she asked softly. he wrapped both of his arms around her waist, leaning into her hair. 

“i would, but i don’t have-,” he started, but rogerina popped up and left the room. he sat up, confused. she re-entered the room holding a pair of pajama pants of roger’s. “you and rog probably wear the same size,” she said, throwing the pants in his general direction. she rummaged in her own pajama drawer and pulled out extremely short shorts and a very large white shirt. 

she left to change in the bathroom, and he took it as a cue to change himself. he did so, and she came back looking sultry with her red bralette showing through her shirt and hair let loose. john pulled her in for a quick kiss, making her giggle. 

she pulled down the covers of her bed and slipped in, patting the space next to her for john to join her. he did so, and she glued herself to his chest. “goodnight, deaky,” she whispered, and he smiled. he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her slightly. “goodnight, rogie,” he said, and didn’t fall asleep until he could hear her breathing even out into a soft slumber.


	8. i’ve fallen in love for the first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is full of softness so be careful.

the next morning, john woke up first. he didn’t know how exhausted rogerina must have been to still be asleep. her head was on his chest, an arm was wrapped around him, and their legs were entangled. he brushed her bangs slightly out of the way so he could kiss her forehead, smiling. 

he rested his eyes and rubbed rogerina’s back slightly, soaking up the sounds of the birds and rogerina’s soft snoring. her room was a safe haven that he never wanted to leave. 

she stirred slightly, but only to lay fully on john. she laced her fingers in his hair and let her head rest near his neck, legs still slightly jumbled together. “rogie?” he mumbled, voice still raspy from not using it all night. she hummed in response, pressing a kiss to his neck. he didn’t say anything more, he just slid his hands under her shirt to rest on her hips. 

she smiled and he could feel it because she was pressing more and more kisses to his neck. “waking up with you is nice,” she said, her voice only the slightest bit louder than a whisper. “maybe you should do it again sometime,” john replied, rubbing her back, hands still under her shirt. she laughed and snuggled into his chest. “i just might. how’s tomorrow?” she asked, kissing him fully. 

“tomorrow sounds perfect,” he said, and she pulled away, smiling. she sat staring at him for a while, drawing her hands across his cheeks and through his hair. he was doing the same, but it was all looking, as his hands were still on the bare skin of her back. 

“what?” he demanded, and she bit her lip trying to conceal a smile. “you’re just so pretty,” she said, and then kissed him quickly. “you could say that again. and do that again,” he smiled, and she laughed at him, but kissed him again anyways. “pretty boy,” she whispered into his ear, leaning into his jaw. he pressed the pads of his fingers into her back and she kissed a line to his lips. 

“mph, rogie,” john said, pulling away from the kiss slightly. she pouted and sat up on his hips with her hands on his chest, but he shook his head. “i just have one question for you,” he said, and she listened intently. “are you serious? about this?” he asked, and she seemed confused. “what do you mean?” she replied, pushing a stray hair behind her ear. 

“i mean, are you serious about us? this relationship, if we’re going to have one?” he asked, and she got serious. “of course i am, john. why wouldn’t i be?” she said, and he just shook his head dismissively. “i don’t know... i just feel like things have happened and you don’t seem serious about things like... things like i see us doing and having,” he said, flustered. 

she laughed a little bit, smiling slightly. “so you’re worried that because i’ve slept around that i’m going to sleep with you and be done?” she asked, and he rushed to defend himself. “no, no, no, i just-,” he said, and she cut him off. “i get it, john. i really do. it seems that way, and you have every right to be worried. yes, i am serious. i want to be serious with you, if that’s how things work out,” she said. 

he grabbed her hips and smiled brightly, making her smile. “i really hope that’s how things work out. we should give it a try,” john said, slightly pulling on rogerina so that she would lean down to kiss him. “we can try a lot of ways,” she said against his lips, smirking. “you’re going to be the end of me,” he mumbled, flipping them over so that he was above her. she giggled and latched her arms around his neck, kissing him again. “well, you said it yourself. we should give it a try.” 

... 

for lunch, they decided on a local restaurant that was one of rogerina’s favorites. she was wearing a red sweater and grey jeans, something much more suitable to the weather than what she wore yesterday. john was wearing what he wore yesterday in an ironic walk of shame. 

they walked hand in hand into the restaurant quickly, trying to escape the freezing cold. once they were inside, a hostess seated them by a window. they ordered coffees and sat in silence, trying to warm themselves up in any way they could. it began to snow outside, making rogerina watch in wonder. 

the waitress dropped off their coffees, but rogerina didn’t seem to care as she watched the snow fall and stick to the ground slowly. john watched her as he prepared his coffee the way he liked it, elated about their recent step together. 

“rogie, as much as i love watching you, i’d hate for your coffee to get cold,” he said, and she snapped her attention to him. “oh, thank you,” she said, smiling as she prepared her coffee. 

the waitress came back over and asked what they would like to eat, and they ordered. the bell above the door jingled behind rogerina, and john peered around her to look at the people standing in the door way. “rogie, don’t look behind you, but brian’s here with someone,” john said, looking at the tall man and the short blonde with him. 

“oh, fuck,” she mumbled, turning around. just then, brian stepped out of the way and she made eye contact with her twin. he stomped over to her threateningly. “why have you followed me?” he hissed, and brian went to motion him to follow him and the hostess, but he wasn’t there. he looked around to find him whisper yelling at his band mates and the one who just so happened to be his kind-of boyfriend’s twin and his kind-of ex-girlfriend. 

“john?” brian asked, walking over to the commotion. roger was already sat next to rogerina and they were yelling back and forth at each other. “hey, mate!” john said, sliding over to make room for him on the bench. “we’ll just sit with them, thanks,” brian said to the hostess and sat down next to john. 

“so you and roger, huh?” john asked, unable to keep his eyes off of rogerina. “yeah. and you and rogie?” brian said, looking between john and roger. “yeah. she’s amazing,” john replied, watching as she snarked roger for something. he stopped her and pointed to the two across the table from them. 

they rightened up, smiling at their respective dates with equally charming grins and soft eyes. john smiled back at rogerina, making her blush brightly. brian held his emotions in, making eyes at roger, who smiled brighter. brian gave in and smiled, making roger happy. 

they ate lunch in an abrupt manner, roger and brian almost uncomfortably sat with john and rogerina. after it was over, they hurried out of the building, wanting to leave as soon as they possibly could. 

“they act as though i’m going to yell at them whenever they’re around me,” rogerina told john, and he just frowned. “i’m sorry. they just don’t know how to carry themselves yet. brian thinks you’re fragile,” john said. “i can be, but i’m not always. in fact, i’m tough most of the time,” she said with earnest, and john smiled at her. “i know you are, rogie. maybe brian just has to learn,” he said, standing up. 

he offered her a hand and she took it, sliding out of the booth. “after you, dear,” he said, hands on her hips as he followed her out of the restaurant. “can we go to the shops?” she asked, walking into the snow, arms out to catch the flakes falling from the sky. “of course. let’s go now,” john said, guiding her across the street to a row of stores that were warm and definitely snow-free. he was going to make her day and spoil her rotten, hoping to make her know how spoiled he felt to have her.


	9. and this time i know it’s for real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i know it’s been a while since i’ve updated but school is really intense right now. i hope you enjoy this short spacer.

after shopping for a while, john realized rogerina was picking inexpensive and/or few things. he wanted to spend a good amount of money on her, so he guided her to an upper-scale boutique. “john, i could never,” she mumbled, keeping quiet in the quiet store. she ran her fingers along the price tag of a simple gold ring. £45. “that’s why i’m here. i could buy that, and i will, if you want it,” he said, and she blushed. 

“not this, but thank you,” she said, smiling at him. she walked gracefully up the stairs, looking extremely beautiful and regal in her sweater-jeans-boots-messy bun combo. john watched her in wonder, a great big smile on his face and dreams in his eyes. 

“she’s something, huh?” the salesman asked, snapping out of his daze. “oh, um, yes. she is. she’s wonderful,” john said, moving his attention to the guy. “she looks wonderful. what a hot piece of ass,” the clerk said with a chuckle. john turned to him in disgust. “what did you just say?” he asked the man, and the man stopped laughing. “she’s a hot piece of ass. just look at her- young, slim, fat ass, big tits-.” 

john cut the man off with a disappointed glare. “stop fucking talking about my girl,” john said, and the man rightened up immediately. “oh, sir, i’m sorry-.” john waved his hand. “stop talking,” he said, and stepped away from him. “babe? we’ve gotta go,” john called up the steps, and rogerina appeared at the top, pouting like a toddler. 

“why?” she whined, and he just smiled at her. “something happened, sweetie. it’s time to go,” john explained. she seemed confused, but she still descended the stairs. when she reached the bottom, she latched her arms around john’s neck and kissed him. he kissed her back, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “and what’s your name?” john asked the man, who told him begrudgingly. “okay, time to go, love,” he said, guiding rogerina out of the store. 

“what was that about?” she asked, lacing their hands together. he squeezed her hand and sighed, and she seemed concerned. “he was talking about you. inappropriately,” he said, and she stopped him in his tracks. she ran her hands across his face, smiling at him. she pecked him on the lips and then hugged him. “you don’t have to do that for me, i’m used to it,” she said, and john tightened his grip on her hips. “you shouldn’t have to be. you’re the last person who deserves what has happened to you. i’m sorry, rogie,” john said, and she smiled at him sadly, tears welling in her eyes. 

“thank you, john. thank you so much,” she said, and he kissed her forehead on top of her bangs. “no, rogie. thank you. thank you for everything. you are an amazing creature,” he said, and she kissed him deeply. 

“is there any way for you to take me home right this instant?” she mumbled into john’s ear, shifting her legs. “oh?” he smirked, wrapping his arm around her waist to let his hand settle on her hip. “please,” she whined quietly, and john fidgeted. “okay, let’s go.” 

...

rogerina woke up first this time, surprised she was wearing a shirt. nothing but a shirt, but a shirt nevertheless. john was draped over her, his arm around her and his head on her chest. she ran her fingers through his hair, smiling at him softly. 

she then remembered they were at john’s house, or more specifically, john and freddie’s house. she frantically tried to get up, but it was useless under the heavy and deep sleeper that was deaky. 

“deaky, it’s time to- rogie?” freddie exclaimed, and deaky just snuggled into rogerina’s body warmth more. “hey freddie,” she whispered, and he made a face. “what did you do?” freddie demanded, whisper-yelling. “what does it look like?” she snapped back, her voice still low. her hand cradled the back of john’s head delicately, messing with his hair gently. freddie softened. 

“if you can get him up, it’s time to start getting ready for practice,” freddie said, and she nodded. “i’ll leave you two alone.” and with that, freddie was gone. rogerina let out a sigh, resting her hands on john’s back. “mph,” he mumbled, face pressed to her clavicle. “are we going to shower together or what?” he asked, she laughed. “okay.” 

...

rogerina was dressed in her clothes for the day and john had changed into a fresh pair of clothes for the first time since yesterday. they were ready to leave before freddie was, which kind of pissed him off, but it made john laugh. when everyone was ready to go, all three of them piled into freddie’s shitty sedan and headed to the venue. 

they were the first ones there, probably because freddie was really invested in this little project of theirs, or because they had all the equipment in the trunk. they unloaded it by the time brian and roger had arrived. 

“and what is the little prince here for?” rogerina asked, arms crossed. “i could ask you the same,” roger replied, also crossing his arms. “i’m the drummer,” she said, patting his head. she whirled around and followed john and freddie into the building. roger turned to brian, pouting. “oh, it’s okay,” the older said, pulling roger close to kiss him softly. 

rogerina walked out onto the stage to her drum kit alone. she sat down and looked at it, smiling slightly. she started tapping out a beat- one she hadn’t played before. it was just something she had been thinking of, nothing she had planned. 

“did you make that?” brian asked, standing in the main doors, backlit from the sun. roger was nowhere in sight. he walked in casually, coming up the stage. “i did,” she said, holding her drumsticks still. “it’s good,” he said, climbing on stage and walking through the door to access the hallway into the back. rogerina let the door shut heavily before she let out a sigh. “thanks, bri,” she mumbled sadly, going back to playing her beat. 

...

practice went swimmingly, proved by an amazing show. rogerina left the stage first, leaving behind two happy men and one extremely concerned kind-of-boyfriend. 

she sat in the back of the room, looking around at everything. she felt like she was taking everything in, but also that it was just floating by. it was a lot to experience at once, and she knew that she was breathing a little faster than normal, she just couldn’t feel it. 

brian and roger walked in, but they couldn’t see her from where they were standing. she could hear them kiss, and it made her dizzy. they left quickly, obviously excited to be headed home. a few minutes later, john and freddie walked in. freddie had a girl under his arm, but there was one practically chasing john. 

“i have a girlfriend,” he said aggressively, pushing the girl away from him. “well if she isn’t here, then doesn’t she deserve to know she’s expendable?” the girl said. “john,” rogerina said roughly. he obviously didn’t hear her. 

“she isn’t expendable. she’s the best damn thing that happened to me,” he said, looking around the room. he finally caught eyes with rogerina, and they both smiled. “john,” she said again, and he raced over to her and scooped her up. 

he kissed her softly, holding her cheeks. “breathe, doll. just breathe,” he said, cradling her head to his chest. he wiped away tears she didn’t know she had streaming down her face. he pulled her hair tie out of her hair gently and rubbed her head, whispering sweet things into her ear and periodically kissing her temple. “john,” she said, her voice slightly back, and he smiled at her. “rogie,” he said, laughing with relief. “i’m glad you’re here,” he said, and she smiled at him. 

“this is your girlfriend?” the girl from before said, bored. “yes, she is,” john said, holding rogerina close to him again. “she’s so... sad,” the girl said. “no she isn’t. can’t you take a hint? go away,” john said, turning his attention back to rogerina. 

“i don’t deserve you,” rogerina said, smiling at him. john put their foreheads together gently. “you deserve the world, rogie,” he said, and she kissed him deeply. rogerina could hear the girl who had followed john shriek and stomp away, making her laugh. 

“stop being so fucking attractive,” she said, resting a hand on his cheek. “i could never,” he joked back, and let her pull away to sit on the actual floor. “take me home?” she asked, worn from the day they had had. “of course, dear,” he said, standing up and scooping her into his arms. 

he said his goodbyes to the other two and carried rogerina out to the car. he drove her home to grab pajamas and a change of clothes, than drove to his and freddie’s place a few minutes away. when they got home, he carried rogerina into his room and gently laid her on the bed. 

“delicious,” he said, leaning over her to kiss her neck softly. she giggled, pushing his face away playfully. “let me change first, deaky,” she smiled, and he let her do so. of course, she made it tantalizing, at least in john’s opinion. 

when she was in a long black cotton shirt and and her bare legs were out, john went wild, kissing the tops of her thighs with as much gentleness he could. she smiled and wrapped a hand in his hair, and he leaned up to kiss her, one hand on her waist and the other on her cheek. 

“let’s sleep, we’ve had a long day,” she mumbled, stifling a yawn. “sleep together? of course, my dear,” john said flirtatiously, making her laugh. they climbed under his covers together, but instead of riling rogerina up like she thought he would, he just spooned her, cuddly as ever. “goodnight, rogie,” he said, kissing the back of her head. “goodnight, deaky,” she said back, wrapping their fingers together where his hand was looped around her hips.


	10. i’ve fallen in love, yeah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> before starting: this isn’t bashing on mary. just because i don’t particularly don’t like what she’s done in the past doesn’t mean i don’t like her. this is just for the story. remember: this is an au where a feminine roger is his twin. not everything is real.

rogerina woke up the next morning warm and irrefutably happy. john was snoring away in her ear, his arm wrapped tight around her, and their legs were entangled. it was so close to the other mornings she had spent with him, but she would never change it for the world. 

without thinking, she rolled over and pushed him flat onto the bed, straddled his hips and kissed him passionately. he woke up quickly, kissing back but also very surprised. “good morning to you, too, sunshine,” he panted, pulling away. “sorry-,” she said, rolling off of him, shaking her head. 

“nothing to be sorry for,” he said, catching her lips again. they made out for a little while, not caring there was another world outside of their own. rogerina felt she deserved this moment, deserved john, and deserved to be undisturbed. 

“rogie! john! breakfast is ready!” freddie yelled from down the hall, startling john so much that he bit rogerina’s lip. “ah, fuck,” she said, and john raced to find a first aid kit without another word. rogerina sat up in the bed, holding her lip, waiting for john to come back. “here, here, i’ll take care of you,” he said, rushing in with bandaids and neosporin. she let him bandage it up, smiling all the while. when he was done, he eyed it with contempt, not even realizing what effects it would have on her. 

she guided his face up so that their eyes could meet, and hers were glossed over with intense admiring and lust. “does it hurt?” he asked, and she shook her head. “no, but you could kiss it to make it feel better,” she said, and he smirked, leaning in to kiss her gently. 

he leaned her down on they bed, laying between her legs, making her laugh. “you’re a mad seductress,” john said, going back in to kiss her again. freddie barged in the room, yelling at the to get a move on. the two jumped apart and knocked heads, injuring themselves once more. 

“stop having sex and come eat!” freddie yelled before turning on his heel and stalking out. john got up first, rolling out of his bed to rummage around his room. he threw a pair of his pajama pants at rogerina and put a pair on himself. 

the two walked out of the room together; rogerina was first, sleepily rubbing her eyes as john followed, guiding hands on her hips, steering her towards the kitchen. when they arrived, there was a properly-dressed and fastidious-looking woman standing next to freddie who’s long hair was all over the place and open robe showed off his chest and white briefs. 

“morning,” john grumbled, walking off to the living room so he wouldn’t have to deal with the kitchen situation. “a good morning to you, too, john,” the woman said daintily. “good morning,” rogerina said, trying to fix her hair and baggy clothes before offering her hand to shake. the woman laughed, grabbed her shoulders rather forcefully, and kissed either side of her cheeks. “good morning, rogerina. how are you?” the woman asked, careful of her every movement. 

“i’m well, thanks,” she said, awkwardly. freddie handed her two plates of a full english breakfast and her stomach growled. “apparently very hungry,” the woman said snootily. “i am. thanks, freddie,” she said, turning to leave the kitchen. “no problem, dear,” he said, calling after her. 

she sat down in the living room, handing john his plate. he thanked her with a kiss. “who is that?” she asked, digging into the eggs. “mary austin, freddie’s girlfriend,” john said, eyes narrowed as he shoveled food into his mouth. “slow down,” rogerina reminded him, smoothing our the wrinkles in his forehead. he sighed and his whole body shifted. 

“relax a little, deaky,” she said, all but scarfing down the food on her plate. she wasn’t being ‘ladylike’ at all, and it made john smile. “never change, rogie,” he said, starting to eat his food more. mary and freddie stayed in the kitchen, barely audible even from a few feet away. 

“i bet they’re talking about us,” john said nonchalantly. “it’s not kind to assume things like that,” rogerina reminded him, setting her empty plate on the floor. “their conversation will stop as soon as one of us walks into the room. i’m telling you, rog, that woman doesn’t like me,” he said, setting his plate on top of hers. “that doesn’t mean she can’t like me,” she said determinedly, getting up and walking into the kitchen with the plates. 

john was right, as it turned out. mary was talking animatedly until she noticed rogerina, after which she abruptly stopped. rogerina washed her and john’s plate and set it on the drying rack, hoping for some conversation to break the awkward tension. “so,” rogerina said, turning around and leaning her back against the counter in front of the sink. “what do you do, mary?” she asked, and mary smiled fakely. “i work at a clothing store,” she answered shortly, not bothering to ask rogerina about her. 

“that must be fun. and i assume you’re a good employee. better than the asshole we met yesterday,” rogerina laughed, hoping to break mary’s persona. “oh? where were you?” she asked, messing with her hair. “i don’t know, but deaky does. apparently he was talking about my body,” rogerina said, frowning.

“are you... bragging?” mary asked. rogerina hung her head. “of course not, mary. i’m just telling you what happened,” she explained, and mary nodded. “oh. i’m sorry,” mary said, reaching her hands out for rogerina’s. “thank you,” she said, smiling. mary smiled back. “let me not keep you from john,” mary said, letting go of rogerina. “it’s no problem. nice talking to you,” rogerina said, walking confidently out of the kitchen. 

“i did it. i think she likes me,” rogerina said, falling into john’s lap. “is that so?” he asked, kissing the back of her head. “i really do. she’s just a little simple is all,” she said, leaning her head back into his shoulder. “you’re so nice,” john said, running his fingers through rogerina’s uncombed hair. “yeah, i try to be. and ouch,” she said, putting her hand over his where he had just torn through a knot. “sorry,” he said, removing his hand and kissing her split lip. 

“mph, deaky,” she said, lacing her hands in his hair. she was smiling, but also trying to pull away slightly. he let her go, but kept going back in for small pecks. “can we go back to your room?” she asked quietly. “oh my god,” john laughed giddily, scooping her up and carrying her out of the living room, making her giggle. 

“wanna go out again today, rogie?” he asked, gently setting her on the bed. “i just want some alone time with you, if that’s okay?” she asked, laying back. “of course it is! it always is,” he said softly, smiling at her. she felt butterflies in her stomach just from him looking at her. 

she gently got up and walked up behind john, hugging him. he made a noise of surprise and tried to turn around but he couldn’t. “hey, doll...what’re you doing?” he laughed, but she just pressed her face into his skin and hummed. he pulled her so that she was close to his chest, not his back. he brushed stray hairs away and kissed her forehead. 

“i really like it when you treat me like i’m special,” rogerina said, leaning into his touch. “i like making you feel special because you are,” john said, hugging her back. “i like it when you make me feel good,” she said, a little bit more red than before. “i don’t know what you mean,” john said, playing dumb. 

rogerina became flustered and blushed bright red. “i like when you-,” she began, then hung her head. “i can’t say it,” she added. “i’m sure you can,” he replied. “but i won’t make you.” she huffed, still cherry-red. “you know what i mean though, right?” she mumbled. john smiled slyly. 

“of course i do, doll,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. she wrapped her arms around his neck and practically climbed her way around his waist. he held her up, hands on her waist not exactly doing the trick. “i don’t care if you touch my ass,” she whispered exasperatedly, then continued kissing him. he slowly moved his hands to support her from her butt, and she smiled, laughing at him a little. 

“what? i can’t respect you?” john demanded, only a little offended. “no, sweetie. it’s cute. but i trust you. a lot. you don’t have to be afraid of hurting me,” she said, pushing hair away from his face. “i just don’t want you to think i’m a bad guy,” he said, and she kissed his cheek. “i will never think you’re a bad guy, john. never,” she said, smiling gently. he smiled back. 

“are you okay enough to-?” rogerina started. “yes, i’m okay,” john said, the last part cut off by him smashing his lips against hers. “lock the door,” she said, lips still pressed against john’s. he gravitated towards the door and locked it, then carried rogerina to the bed. he let her down slowly, then sat at her feet, smiling at her. 

“what?” she said, slightly out of breath. “you’re just so gorgeous,” he said, making her blush. “get over here, pretty boy,” she replied, reaching her hands out. he leaned over her, teasing her by only letting their foreheads touch. “make me feel good,” she whispered, and he was all over her again, lips moving and hands roaming. he just kept thinking to himself that rogerina always knew the best things to do on lazy days and how much he may be starting to love her.


	11. god knows, god knows i’ve fallen in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here’s a little christmas present form me to you! this is also for the freddie’s cats gc on instagram; i love you guys so much. on with the show!

that afternoon wasn’t a busy one, surprisingly enough. rogerina and john emerged from their cocoon shortly after 3, looking way too presentable for them to have nothing to do later. 

“and what are you two up to?” freddie asked as they stood on the small landing above the living room. john took the two steps down and sat on the ground. “absolutely nothing,” john replied, watching the tv. it was in french. 

“is mary still here?” he groaned, and mary walked out of the bathroom. “speak of the devil!” he said, standing up. he quickly walked back up to rogerina and wrapped his arms around her waist. “are people talking about you, dear?” mary asked snidely, going to sit in freddie’s lap on the couch. 

“i wouldn’t be-,” john started, but rogerina held him back. “john, please,” she said, putting her hand on his chest. “do you really need a little girl to hold you back?” mary taunted, and this time, rogerina turned around. “i don’t know what crawled up your ass and died, but i’mm more than a little girl and so much more than you’ll ever know,” she snapped, face calm despite what she said. 

john smiled and spun her around to kiss her. she grabbed his hand and stomped off down the hall with him in tow. “now i get why you hate her,” she said, slamming john’s door. he rested his hands on her waist and kissed her again. she let out her emotions by deepening the kiss and getting rougher, crowding him against the door. 

“this is unhealthy,” she announced, breaking the kiss but not backing out of john’s space. “what is?” he asked, panting. “we shouldn’t have sex every time we feel an emotion. we should talk about it. sex comes naturally in other ways, and this shouldn’t be one,” she said wisely, and he put his hands on her cheeks. 

“you’re so intelligent,” he said, making her blush. he hoped that it wasn’t obvious he wanted to say i love you in that moment. he knew the intelligence comment is what she needed to hear. “thank you,” she said softly. “that’s the first time anyone has ever said that to me.”

“there’s no way,” john protested, but she nodded. “it really is,” she replied. she hugged him tightly around his chest, putting her face in his neck. he held her by her waist still, but one hand moved to cradle the back of her head. “i appreciate you so much, john deacon,” she mumbled, and he awwed. “i’m serious!” she exclaimed, and he just hugged her tighter. “i appreciate you. and i’m just as serious,” he said, voice unnaturally low. 

she pecked him quickly on the lips, smiling. “i just thought of something we could do,” she said excitedly. “that was one of those moments where sex could come naturally, but continue,” he said, making her laugh. “can we go to trafalgar? i want to see inside the national gallery,” she asked, practically jumping up and down in anticipation. “of course we can, doll. anything for you,” john said, kissing the top of her forehead. they walked out of his bedroom smiling and laughing. 

“and what would you to be doing now?” mary asked, grabbing a bottle of rosè from the fridge. “something without you,” john said, sticking his tongue out at her. “we’re getting far, far away from this place,” rogerina said whimsically, making john laugh. they shut the heavy door hard on their way out. 

...

it was a short walk to the eye and only a little bit longer wait until they were inside the gallery. rogerina was in awe of the spacious dome and large paintings along the walls. john was more in awe of her. 

“john, look,” she said excitedly, running up to a picture thrice her size and pointed to it. “i see it,” he laughed and nodded, walking over to her. she reached out for his hand and continued on, reading out every placard on the wall and talking about the pieces until she saw the next one. 

“i didn’t know you liked art this much,” john said, sitting on a bench in an empty room. “i love art,” she said, staring up at a picture of a man in a pink robe, staring off into the distance regally. “rogie,” john said simply. “hmm?” she responded, turning to look at him. 

“i appreciate you so much more than you know,” he said, and she walked over to him. “i appreciate you much more than you’ll ever know, too. you’re amazing, john deacon,” she smiled, placing her hands on his jaw. she leaned in to kiss him, but they were scared apart by a loud cough. they hadn’t realized they weren’t alone. 

“rogie, what are you doing here?” her mother asked, her group of friends behind her chiding her quietly as well. “hello, mother. i’m just here on a date,” she said nervously, and john dared not to turn around in fear of her mother’s wrath. 

“a date? with whom?” her mother asked, and john turned around slowly to face rogerina. she waved him over and presented him to her mother. “mother, this is john deacon. john, this is my mother,” she said, and john stuck his hand out for a shake which she took daintily. “nice to meet you, mrs. taylor,” he said, smiling. “nice to meet you as well, mr. deacon,” her mother said, obviously charmed by him. 

“well, we’ll be off mum! have fun with cynthia and mary lynn,” rogerina said, fake smiling. she grabbed john’s hand and took off, not exactly listening to her mother as she said,” it’s mother, not mum! don’t be disrespectful!” 

“your mum is a nice lady,” john said, snickering as they left the room. rogerina glared at him, but he still laughed. when he saw her face, he kissed her in reconciliation. “i know i dragged us out here, but is there any way we could head over to dinner? i don’t particularly want to stay here knowing she could follow us,” she said, voice ranging on anxious. “of course, doll. let’s head for the doors,” he said, putting a guiding hand on the small of her back. 

...

they ended up eating at an indian restaurant closer to rogerina’s house. she cleverly has packed her book bag for an easier drop off. 

“thank you for the housing, trip, and meal today,” rogerina said, turning to face john in the car. “thank you for letting me do those things for you,” he said, grabbing her hand. “i really like spending time with you,” she said, biting her lip. “so you like the dates?” john asked, and she seemed frightened. “they don’t have to be that, if you don’t want them to be,” he said quickly. 

“no, i want them to be, it’s just... i don’t know if this is going to be long term. and it’s not you, because i want to be long term with you. it’s me. i have issues with people leaving and i don’t trust easily. i don’t know what’s wrong with me and i don’t know what’s going to happen but i’m trying,” she monologued, looking sad. john had a bright smile on his face. 

“what?” she asked, and he smiled more. “you said you want to be long term with me,” he said, and she softened up. “i do, deaky. i really do. i’d love for those to be our dates. but honestly, they weren’t the best. let’s say we go on a date tomorrow, and we call that our first?” she said, smiling. 

he laughed, kissing her hand. “of course, of course. where should we go?” he asked, thrilled entirely that he wouldn’t only have to go to work tomorrow. “maybe that take out place again?” she suggested, and he smiled. “nothing fancy, i get it,” john said. “no, i like fancy. i’m just not going to make you pay for it,” she said, punctuated with a kiss. 

“alright, doll. whatever you say. what time should i get you?” he asked, and she thought. “around 6,” she said decisively, and john nodded. “i will see you then,” he smiled, and she smiled back. “i’ll see you too. bye, john,” she said, kissing him softly. 

she opened the car door and grabbed her backpack. “bye, doll. don’t have too much fun without me,” he said, and she closed her door. she waved to him as he drove off. 

she walked into her house, extremely elated and not caring who was home. she saw brian and roger kissing on the couch, and she smiled, happy for them. “hello,” she said, making her presence known. they jumped apart and roger tried to cover his naked chest. “oh, it’s just you,” he sighed. she raised a hand to her chest, looking extremely offended. “just me?” she gasped, running up the stairs. 

she dropped her book bag off by the door and slid her shoes off, slowly taking her clothes off and changing into pajamas. she turned the light off and got into bed, leaning over to smell the side john had slept on their first night together. it smelled like him enough to make her smile again and to cuddle the pillow as she got comfortable in bed. “goodnight, john.” there was no response. “i love you, too.” almost immediately after that, she was asleep, dreaming of her soon-to-be new boyfriend.


	12. it’s strange but it’s true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for kade, who made it almost impossible to be soft in this chapter. and for ariana, who pushes me to go above and beyond. thank you to everyone who supports me. much love x.

“good morning, whore.” 

rogerina hated school. everyone slut shamed and ridiculed her for the dumbest things. it drove her crazy. 

“at least i can get it,” she retorted. she hated these useless fights between her and others. especially when it’s her ex best friend, and the first person she ever trusted to tell about her past with joshua. she had the nerve to tell the whole school, victim shame her, and then start dating him soon after. little does she know what he’s doing behind her back. 

and that’s most of her day. bleak classes, rainy days, and hateful people. she didn’t want to come back at people with the sugar daddy card just yet, not knowing how it would hold up or how it would land. honestly, she didn’t want to use john that way anyways. he wasn’t her possession and she wasn’t his. they were equals. 

as the end of the school day rolled around, rogerina found herself dreading the rest of the week to be even more shitty than regular. she walked home, not really caring if she was in the middle of the road or not (she was. wether she was trying to get hit or not is the disputable part). she surprisingly made it home before roger and his goons, and it felt like a small victory. she dropped her book bag at the door and took off upstairs to get ready. 

she showered quickly and wrapped her hair up in a towel as she searched for something to wear. she knew if she wore anything too showy john would worry about her being cold and if she wore something too cozy he might think she was going through a rough patch. 

she decided on ripped jeans with tucked a green button up and a pair of birkenstocks. her hair was thrown up into a braid, at least until it was dry and curly. she put on lipgloss and called it a day, knowing that john didn’t care wether she wore makeup or not, as long as she felt pretty. she just wasn’t feeling makeup that day. 

she wanted to listen to some music and sing out her nervousness so she sorted through her records. she didn’t want to listen to the jackson 5, nor did she want to listen to the beatles. she decided on mungo jerry, listening to his voice and keying in at some parts. then, in the summertime rolled around, and she sang the whole song, her voice scratchy like his. 

john popped his head in during the middle of the song, making her jump in surprise. “keep singing,” he encouraged, and she did so. “when the winter's here, yeah it's party time. bring your bottle, wear your bright clothes, it'll soon be summertime. and we'll sing again. we’ll go drivin' or maybe we'll settle down,” she sang for him, and smiled. 

“oh this is ridiculous!” she exclaimed, and he walked over to her with a sly smile. he kissed her gently, making her smile back to him. “your voice is amazing,” he said, and she blushed. “that’s not even my real voice,” she said, and he he made an inquisitive face. “really, now? let me hear you actually sing,” he said, sitting on her bed. 

she got up and switched the records out, checking the folds for the song she wanted and setting the needle right at the beginning. he started chuckling when he heard the intro, but she just smiled nervously. 

“when i had you to myself, i didn’t want you around. those pretty faces always made you stand out in the crowd. but someone picked you from the bunch; one look was all it took. now it’s much to late for me to take a second look,” she sang to john, who was smiling and laughing. 

her bedroom door opened quietly as she began the chorus: “oh, baby give me one more chance to show you that i love you,”- it was brian-, “oh darling i was blind to let you go. won’t you please let me back in your heart?” she sang, climbing on to john’s lap on a fit of giggles. brian closed the door sadly. 

“hey, goofball. what do you think about ordering food to eat here? so we don’t have to go out?” john asked, putting his hands on her hips. “i got all dolled up for nothing?” she exclaimed in fake anger. “mm, not for nothing,” john said, kissing her neck softly. she rolled her head back to give him more room, but didn’t let it waiver her. 

“i wanted to look good in public. i had a shitty day,” she confessed, and he hugged her tight. “then let’s stay here and talk about it. do you want the same thing you had last time?” he asked, getting up to go use their house phone. “you remember?” she asked, standing up behind him. “of course i do. i’ll be right back,” he said smiling, and she fell back on the bed with wonder. 

a few minutes later, john called her name from downstairs. she walked down to meet him and found him stretched out on their couch with a blanket over him. he winked at her and opened the blanket. she rolled her eyes and scoffed, but with a smile nonetheless. she curled up right beside him, cuddling back into his chest. he slung his arm across her and set his chin on the top of her head. 

“sonny and cher?” she asked, a little upset about it. “what’s wrong with them?” john demanded playfully. “her voice is so... hunh,” rogerina explained, making a nasally sound at the end. john laughed, his hand on her hip squeezed tight as he curled more around her. “her voice is like that, but i kinda find it quite nice,” he said, toying with the remote. “coming from the man who has the weirdest accent i’ve ever heard,” she said softly, kissing him. 

there was a doorbell and then a knock at the door, and john got up to get the food and pay for it. he brought it back into the living room and spread it out along the coffee table. “this is amazingly planned. thank you, deaky,” rogerina said, kissing him again before sitting down to dig in. 

when they were finished, rogerina climbed back up into john’s lap sitting sideways with her head on his chest. she could feel him humming softly, and she tapped out a rhythm to go along with it. 

“what are you going to call that song?” she asked, and he blushed. “it’s a surprise,” he said, trying to shut it down. “is it really?” she asked sincerely. “yes, doll. for you,” he said softly. she smiled, eyes tired and dropping slightly. “that’s very sweet of you, john,” she yawned, and he picked her up. 

he carried her into her room, then gently laid her out on the bed. he undressed her, making sure to take off her bra, just how she preferred when she was sleeping. he put a night shirt and some shorts on her, then tucked her in to bed gently. “goodnight, princess,” he said, kissing the top of her head. 

“wait,” she mumbled, reaching for his hand. they intertwined fingers and she hummed happily. “can you stay with me until I fall asleep?” she asked. he couldn’t help but say yes, moving her bangs out of the way to kiss her forehead. he curled up behind her outside of the comforter, wrapping her up gently. 

he waited until he could hear that she was asleep and slowly got up, unlacing their fingers. he walked over to her side and kissed her crown once more before turning to leave. “goodnight, rogie,” he said, and there was no answer. “i love you,” he said, smiling to himself and relieved he had said it aloud finally. “i love you, too,” she replied quietly, and he could hear the rustle of rolling over as he closed the door in shock.


	13. i can’t get over the way you love me like you do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is very short bc i’m trying to push out quantity and quality. sorry loves.

it felt like weeks until wednesday practice came around, and it made rogerina want to scream. she was extremely impatient and she owned it. it wasn’t like some weird part of her she tried to hide; it’s just an attribute. 

either way, she was waiting to see john again. she hadn’t been able to see or talk to him due to both of them being busy with their respective school loads. she needed to talk to him about the i love you event that happened on monday and hope to god that it wasn’t going to be weird. 

she didn’t have time to change from her school uniform that day as she had roger drop her off at the venue. she was almost late, but she ran to the back of the building very quickly in order to be on time. she made it, breathing extremely heavily as she tried to catch her breath. 

“glad you could join us,” freddie said amusedly. “i’m sorry. i didn’t have a ride until last minute,” she said, setting her stuff down and grabbing the cajon. “who brought you?” brian asked, and she laid back against the wall. “roger did. i wish he would just give me that goddamned car,” she said, getting into position to practice. 

“rogie, this is a little song called liar. listen and then we’ll find the right drum sound,” freddie instructed, and rolled her eyes. “okay,” she said, fiddling with a random cowbell on the floor. she held it as freddie prepared to sing. “i have sinned dear father, father i have sinned...”. 

there was a part in the song where freddie was flipping through pages to find the next part of the lyrics he had wrote when rogerina started making a beat on the cowbell. she could never sit still, ever, so this wasn’t a shock to her that this random beat was being pulled out of her ass. “can you stop? i can’t concentrate,” freddie spat, unfazed. “were you just with mary before this?” brian asked calmly. freddie shot him a nasty glare. “just wondering,” brian defended, putting his hands up in the air. 

rogerina kept tapping lightly despite freddie asking for it to end. “you can’t silence genius, mercury!” she said, getting bolder, and subsequently, louder. “i can to!” he said, stomping over and snatching the cowbell, throwing it across the room. “stop it,” he said again, marching back up to the mini stage. 

rogerina caught the back of his collar as he walked away, choking him. he rounded on her, ready to yell. “what crawled up your ass and died?” she demanded, crossing her arms. “nothing, for fucks sake. it’s just annoying!” freddie replied. “i think it should be played live,” brian said, making john snicker. 

“do you just want to call practice now?” freddie said, agitated. he rubbed in between his eyebrows in discontent. “sure, because you’re having a rough time we’ll end it,” rogerina said. “ENOUGH!” freddie yelled, scaring everyone. “just- i’m going home,” he said, calmly collecting his jacket and keys, going to his car. luckily john had brought the equipment this time and was also taking it home. 

“that was odd,” john said, putting his bass away. “that was fucking stupid, is what it was!” rogerina exclaimed. “a little,” brian agreed, and she pointed to him in her defense. “to be truthful, i do think you were hard on him,” john defended. “for mary? you don’t like her either!” brian said. 

“neither does rogie. but i don’t treat freddie like shit because of mary,” john said. rogerina and brian were silent, feeling remorseful because of what they said. “i want to apologize,” rogerina said, her voice quiet. she ran out of the room to try and catch freddie before he left. 

“freddie!” rogerina shouted from across the cold, barren parking lot. she was running across it towards him. “what, rogerina?” he asked, using her full name. she stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the lot, shoulders sagging. “i’m sorry, freddie,” she said. “no need. it’s your opinion,” he said, taking a drag of the cigarette in his hand. 

she crossed over to him finally, standing in front of him where he was leaning against his car. he was wearing a short sleeve shirt and jeans, and rogerina scoured him thoroughly. “how are you not cold?” she said, shivering in her uniform. “i am, truthfully. i just lost my jacket,” he said, shrugging. 

“how about i get some money from my mum and tomorrow we go shopping for a new one, yeah?” she asked, reaching across to rub her hands along his arms for friction-induced heat. “don’t pity me,” freddie said, his voice quavering. “i’m not, freddie. i’m caring for you,” she said, pulling him down into a hug. he rested his head on her shoulder and started to cry, except there was no noise- only tears. it broke rogerina’s heart that he didn’t have anywhere to go to cry except to her. 

“as much as we don’t like mary, we love you, fred. and we shouldn’t have spoken to you in that way,” rogerina said. “please, let’s not talk about mary,” he said, standing back up and wiping his cheeks. “no, we can’t just ignore this. are you serious about her?” rogerina asked. “yes,” he answered meekly. “and do you care for her?” she asked. “yeah, quite a bit,” he admitted, and she smiled.

“then it’s okay to be with her. just don’t let her control you or walk all over you. you are freddie mercury, not mary austin, or mary mercury, or freddie austin,” rogerina said with authority. “freddie mercury,” he repeated with a slight smile. “that’s right. freddie mercury. legendary singer and songwriter in the flesh.” 

... 

“how’d your apology go?” john asked after he had loaded all of his equipment up. “pretty good. although mary isn’t going anywhere,” rogerina admitted, holding her arms behind her back. “i figured,” john said, laughing and kicking a rock by his foot. 

“john, i-,” she started, but he cut her off. he pulled her close for a hug, and she hugged him back. “i love you, rogerina taylor. so much,” he mumbled, and she squeezed him tighter. he kissed her neck softly, the made his way up her jaw and to her lips. 

she giggled, pulling apart from him, but only for a minute as she returned to the kiss with a big smile. “i love you, john deacon. so much,” she said, pulling away. her hands rested on his cheeks as she liked deep into his eyes. “this sounds so cheesy, but even if love hurts, it’s worth it to be with you,” he said, smiling softly. 

“oh you-,” she said, smushing their lips together messily. they made out for a while, and then john leaned back against the car. she put her knee in between his legs and he pulled away. “it’s very early and very public for that,” he mumbled, kissing her neck again. “ take me home?” she asked innocently. “anything you ask, princess,” he said, and they hopped into his car.


	14. but i have to be sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for lea, who i love very much. she’s been anticipating this longer than i have.

friday practice was probably going to feel tense and really uncomfortable, at least on rogerina’s part. she had apologized to freddie, but brian hadn’t and she was sure freddie was pissed at john for not saying anything to support him in the moment. 

while she was waiting in front of the venue, she tugged on her blue velvet dress and fixed her hair. she was freezing and so very early, so she was proud but also frustrated. finally, brian showed up, keys in hand. 

“it’s about time,” rogerina said across the parking lot. “hello to you too, dear,” brian said, long legs carrying him to the door. he unlocked it and held the door for rogerina as she slipped her heels back on and scurried inside. “thank you and hello, brian,” she said, waiting for him to come inside. “sure,” he said jokingly, side hugging her and then took off walking. 

“are you going to apologize to freddie?” she asked, looking up at him. “in private, yes,” he nodded, not looking down at her. “don’t you cheat on my brother or i’ll kill you,” she said, her voice edging on serious. “i believe you and i wouldn’t dream of it. you both have the taylor charm,” he said, smiling. “you romancer,” she said, messing with him. “you can just say it’s because we have nice asses.” brian laughed at that. “that is part of it,” he admitted, opening the practice room door for rogerina. 

she stepped inside and was met with a sweltering hot room. “oh, fuck,” she said, backing out of the doorway. “what’s wrong?” brian asked, stepping in. he walked across the room and turned around, and rogerina could see he was sweating in his winter coat. “get out of there you idiot!” she said playfully, beckoning him back outside to the room temperature hallway. 

“what’s wrong?” he joked. he stepped out of the room. “c’mon, let’s see if the concert hall has a problem, too.” they walked down the halls and into the main room together, rogerina’s heels in her hand as she struggled to keep up with brian. 

“it feels like an icicle in here,” he said, and rogerina shivered. “it does. can we even perform tonight?” she replied, leaning up against the wall outside of the large room. “i don’t know. we’ll wait until deaks and fred get here,” brian said, doing the same opposite her. 

there was a sort of uncomfortable silence that fell over them. “how’ve you been?” brian asked, and rogerina looked him in the eye. “pretty great, actually. how about you?” she replied, a small smile on her face. “i’m- i think i’m doing alright, at least,” he said, and she nodded. “that’s good.” 

another uncomfortable silence. “hey, you know i’m not mad at you, right? at all,” she said. “you aren’t?” brian asked. “no, i’m not. i realized there’s nothing to be angry with,” she said, shrugging. “i mean, i did drop you for your twin brother,” he admitted. “you keep talking and i’ll find things to be angry with,” rogerina said jokingly, but her voice edged on irritated. 

“if it’s any consolation, i still feel like shit. i really liked you, rogie. but... i don’t know. you just... you’re like my sister,” he said, and she smiled. “i get that. now that i think about it, you’re like an older brother to me. one that could actually care about me,” she said. “i’m sorry, rogerina,” he said. “thank you. really, though, i’m not upset,” she admitted again. 

“i’m happy for you and john,” brian said, and she smiled brightly. “thank you. and i’m happy for you and roger. you know... you’ve had a really positive influence on him,” she said, watching him smile and blush. “really?” he asked. “yes, quite. he doesn’t hang around with josh and sam anymore, he doesn’t really smoke... that’s something,” she said. 

just then, john and freddie marched down the wall, obviously in the middle of a heated discussion. they almost turned down the hall until john saw them and stopped moving. “rogie,” he smiled, and she giggled. “hello, dear,” she said, walking over to him. she threw her arms around his neck and planted a stupendous kiss to his lips. 

he slipped his arms around her waist and kissed back. “hello to you, too,” he said, pulling away slightly. “the radiator is broken and this is what you do?” freddie said. “please, dear, calm down. everything will be okay,” rogerina said, walking past john to hug freddie. he hugged her quickly, which softened him up, but he still seemed extremely serious. 

“how are we going to fix this by showtime?” freddie asked. “i can try to help,” john said, and he and freddie took off down the hall. “my little electrical engineer,” she smiled, and brian laughed. “you sound like me,” he said. “if you’re saying that about my boyfriend...,” she started, but then laughed. 

suddenly, they heard the heater click on in the main room and a small whoosh from down the hall. freddie and john walked back into the hallway, sweat dripping down their faces and hair plastered to their foreheads. “i’d kiss you but you’re sweaty,” rogerina said, making john smile. “if you kiss me i’ll kill you,” freddie warned brian, making them all laugh. 

... 

the show ended up happening after all, and it was a damn good one at that. they had previewed seven seas of rhye, one of freddie’s little creations that he was extremely proud of. rogerina got to sing backup vocals for it, even though she didn’t consider herself to be an amazing singer. 

they piled off stage and into the back room, which had cooled off immensely since practice. they were laughing and smiling, trying to shake off the adrenaline from the performance. rogerina grabbed her purse as the boys grabbed their respective coats. 

“are we going for a drink?” brian asked, a wide smile on his face. “why not?” freddie asked, and set off to the bar upstairs. “i guess we’re going,” rogerina said, looking to john. he put his hands on her hips and kissed her softly. “were you planning something else?” she asked him, and brian left the room out of courtesy. 

“i might’ve been,” john mumbled against her lips. “and what might that be?” she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close. “i have a feeling you already know,” he said, smirking. “i think i do, and it sounds like a great idea,” she said, and he dropped his hand hold to hers. 

he turned to leave the room and held the door for her. she followed him out of the door, walking through the halls. she could practically feel the electricity between their hands and the energy reverberating from the walls. “you and that dress... you’ve been driving me crazy,” john said before opening the doors to the parking lot and the biting cold air. 

the dress in question was dark blue, velvet, kind of short, tight, and low cut. it was perfectly form fitting, and a pair of brown velvet platforms and a sheer white jacket. she had worn it just for him; she wanted him to see her, and she wanted him to want her. 

they got into his car and they took off down the street, john taking his dear sweet time. his hand was resting on her thigh, unmoving but not unnoticed. “if you don’t start using your gas pedal soon, i’ll have to do it for you,” rogerina said. john looked at her, kissed her chastely, then proceeded to speed up enough that they were at his and freddie’s flat in less than two minutes. 

“i can’t imagine being without you,” john said, and rogerina smashes their lips together heatedly. “who said you were allowed to be this fucking romantic?” she said, climbing over into his lap. “who said you were allowed to wear this dress and look so fucking gorgeous?” he replied, and she kissed him again in faux anger. 

“let’s get inside before we do anything,” john said, and rogerina nodded. despite the heat from john and the car, she was shivering from the cold weather. john turned the car off and opened his door, waiting for rogerina to get out before he could. 

they played grab ass until they reached the door of the apartment, when john pushed rogerina slightly up against the door. they were making out heavily as john tried to open the door. “why don’t you do this more often?” she asked, slightly out of breath. “i don’t want to hurt you,” he admitted, and she smiled up at him gently. “you won’t hurt me. you’re the most gentle creature i know,” she said, resting a hand on his cheek. “and you’re the wildest creature i know,” he said, then pushed the door open and began to kiss her hurriedly again. 

john shut the door and grabbed rogerina’s thigh under the dress and heaved her up over his hips. she set her on the kitchen counter, but was still pressed close to her. “you drive me mad,” he said, slipping off her shoes and jacket. he picked her back up and carried her to his room, trying not to trip as she kissed his neck. “but that’s why i love you,” he finished, looking to her face for confirmation. 

“i love you too, john. so much. even more so if you get naked and show me how much you love me,” she said, voice barely higher than a whisper. she ran her hands up to help him take his shirt and pants off, before he took to kissing her neck and chest. 

...

“you love me,” john said, a little out of breath. rogerina was curled into his chest, very sleepy and wanting to cuddle. “mhm, i love you very much,” she said, kissing the side of his chest. “and i love you,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist. she hummed in contempt and snuggled closer to him. “i would hope so,” she said. 

“goodnight, rogie. i love you.” 

“i love you too, deaky. sleep well.”


	15. when i walk out that door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s short, but it’s there and pivotal. also written at 3 in the morning.

rogerina had woken up in the middle of the night sweaty and desperately in need of a drink. she wriggled out from under john’s arm and got out of bed, slipping on one of his night shirts. it was longer than the dress she had on last night, stopping right above her knees. 

she opened the door and shut it back as silently as she could, padding down the dark hallway and into the kitchen for a glass of water. the light above the sink was on, cascading the room in a soft yellow light. 

she grabbed a glass from the cabinet next to the fridge, then opened the actual fridge to the glass pitcher of water freddie kept to have chilled water on demand. she poured herself a glass and put the pitcher back, then leaned against the countertop and took a sip of her drink. she heard the toilet flush and heavy feet walking down the hall into the kitchen, which made her panicky for no reason. worst case scenario would’ve been a girl freddie brought home, but that would most likely be mary. 

mary it was, making her heave a sigh. “hello,” she said, sipping her water. “hello, rogerina. how are you?” she asked, going to grab a soda from the fridge. “i’m good, how are you?” rogerina replied, yawning softly. “i think i’m pregnant,” mary said simply, cracking open her drink. 

“you what? does freddie know?” rogerina demanded, standing up straight. all tiredness had been pushed from her body. “no, dear. i just tested it myself in one of those at-home kits,” mary said, pouting to the bathroom. “oh, mary...you know those aren’t reliable. they’re too new for us to be sure,” rogerina said, most of the worry leaving her body. 

“are you sure? my dear friend debra took one of them and it told her correctly that she was having a baby! his name is james,” mary protested, and rogerina began to worry again. “i don’t know... truthfully, i don’t know what to say. i think you should do what suits you,” she said, and mary thought for a second. “i don’t know,” she said simply. 

“me neither. i’m sorry i couldn’t be much help,” rogerina said. “you’re fine, dear,” mary smiled, and rogerina smiled back. “i’m going to head back to bed. sleep well, mary,” she said, turning to walk down the hall. “thank you. you too, dear,” the elder said. “oh, and congratulations to debra. i love the name james,” rogerina said before finally walking into john’s room. 

...

two young boys run in and out of an expansive room in a large home. john is sitting on a rocking chair, holding a baby girl in his arms. rogerina is in the kitchen, slightly overwhelmed with everything going on. she was cooking for her family, brian’s family, and freddie’s family that night, and she wanted all of the boys to play, but not in her perfectionist space. 

she said their names, and the two boys snapped to attention. “you need to clean up before family arrives, please,” she said, and they nodded and turned around. as soon as they were gone, she couldn’t remember their little faces in her brain, almost as if they had never existed. 

she resumed cooking whatever it happened to be. she didn’t really know what it was, just that she knew how to make it and that she ran on autopilot. she chopped indiscernible vegetables as butchered unrecognizable meats, adding them into a pot and stirring them around. 

“rogie, dear,” john said, walking into the kitchen with the baby. “yes, john?” she asked, and he came by her to kiss her softly. “i love you,” he said simply. “i love you too, dear,” she said, then kissed the baby. “is there anything else you needed?” she asked. “i need you to stop being so damn amazing,” he said, smiling. she smiled back. “i try my hardest. please help the boys clean up before bri, rog, and freddie get here,” she said, kissing his cheek and sending him out of the kitchen. 

she finished up cooking and set the table with plates, forks and knives, knowing damn well if she set it with glasses they’d never use them but somehow dirty them. the doorbell rang and she slid her apron off, checked her clothes, and answered the door. 

it was freddie, standing with a man she didn’t know, but also already did not particularly like. he was holding a bottle of red wine with a pink bow wrapped around the neck. “congratulations, rogie!” freddie said, hugging her then handing her the bottle. “thank you! please come in,” she said, gesturing for them to walk into the foyer. 

“how’s your aching-,” freddie began to ask with a smirk, but rogerina stopped him. “the boys!” she exclaimed, making freddie laugh. the man next to freddie poked him, the pointed towards rogerina. “oh, how rude of me,” freddie said. he went on with introductions, but rogerina couldn’t hear him speak as if she was under water. 

the doorbell rang and she ran to get it, opening the door to roger, brian, and their new puppy, which rogerina didn’t catch the name of. they let the dog loose to find someone to smell as they greeted each other happily. 

“so where is the little miss?” brian asked, and rogerina guided them to her nursery where john was sat with her trying to get her to go down for a nap. “hello,” john greeted, but they ignored him. “she’s so beautiful,” brian smiled, making rogerina smile as well. “thank you,” she said, then kissed the baby on her head. 

“isn’t it so crazy? how far we’ve come. it’s like a dream come true.” 

“what?” 

... 

rogerina snapped wide away, sitting up sharply next to john. he reached an arm up and beckoned her back down, cradling her in his arms. it was almost 7, and even though that’s a healthy time to wake up, it was the weekend, and rogerina deserved some form of a break. 

“nightmare?” he mumbled sleepily. “no, no,” she said, eyes still wide. “it didn’t feel like a nightmare.” john hummed. “so just a dream?” he asked. “just a dream,” she confirmed. “you sure?” he repeated. “yes,” she nodded, trying to relax. everything seemed so realistic, although she didn’t remember anything about the children or her life with them. 

“sleep some more, dear. we’ll have a large breakfast soon,” john said, combing his fingers through her hair. “okay, see you then,” she mumbled weakly. she thought she wouldn’t be able to sleep well, but after that, she was out like a light.


	16. oh, how i want to be free, baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i thought of andante, andante while writing this. chapter part 1 of 2.

john woke up later, but still earlier than rogerina, slowly making his way out of the room as to not wake her. he slipped almost silently into the kitchen, brewing himself a cup of coffee to give him more energy. he was kept awake by rogerina rolling around and talking in her sleep all night. 

he took his coffee into the living room and plopped down on the couch, taking a big sip and sighing. “i might’ve wanted a cuppa,” rogerina said, standing in the kitchen with the half-emptied pot of coffee. “didn’t know you were up. sorry,” john said, going to stand up. “i’m teasing. stay,” she said, going to the kitchen to fix up her cup and then returned, sitting next to him. 

“i had a dream last night,” she said, and he nodded sleepily. “we were married with kids,” she added, and he almost spit his coffee everywhere. “you dreamt that?” he asked. she nodded. “the only reason i’m bringing it up to you is because i want to know how serious you are about this. us,” she said, gesturing between then with her non-coffee hand. 

“i’m very serious. all i’ve ever wanted was my own family,” he said, and she smiled. “i have never thought about a family,” she admitted. “i always thought i would fuck myself over before i could even drive.” john smiled softly. “that hasn’t happened yet,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “yet,” she said, also taking a sip and made john laugh. 

“you seriously would be up for having kids? for me?” he asked. “i don’t know. it’s going to be a while from now. i just know if i’m with you, i’m happy,” she said, then kisses his cheek lightly. she stood up and took her empty mug into the kitchen and washed it out, then set it out on the rack to dry. 

freddie took that opportunity to bust in through the front door, making rogerina almost dropped her mug. “darlings! we need to leave for the venue right this instant! get dressed!” he yelled. 

“hello to you, too,” rogerina grumbled, stalking off to john’s room with him. they returned later dressed and ready for the day. john had put on a pair of jeans and a plaid button-up. rogerina was wearing a pair of high-waisted flared jeans, a cropped dark green tee shirt and john’s leather jacket. 

“let’s go!” freddie called, turning around and walked out of the door, not waiting for rogerina or john who had to run after him. “freddie!” rogerina called, speed-walking up to him. “we have to make it, dear!” he said, still not looking back. “to what?” john asked, running to catch up with them. 

“some fucks are trying to take the venue from us tonight,” freddie said sharply, now walking in the middle of rogerina and john. “who?” rogerina asked. “boy scouts,” he scowled, and john laughed. “we’re taking the fucking building from a bunch of twelve year olds?” he asked, and freddie whipped around to snap at him. “we had a concert planned there first!” he said, and rogerina put her hands on his back to calm him down. 

“it’s not a big deal, fred,” she said, and he whipped around. “if you’re not coming with me, i’m going to have to go alone,” he said, his voice quivering at the end. “fine. let’s get this show on the road, then.” 

...

a few hours later, the three of them had won over the venue and started to set up. rogerina’s equipment was already on stage and freddie really just needed his voice, so they let deaky practice his playing before brian could muddle with his guitar. 

freddie was doodling idly in a notebook, trying to get details right, even though he was probably going to scrap it later. rogerina’s eyes were trained intently on john’s fingers, careful not to make a sound. john licked his fingers and returned to playing without missing a beat. rogerina fell back in her chair exasperatedly. 

“what’s wrong, dear?” freddie asked with the casualness of a cool aunt and the apathetic feel of your own mother. “nothing. john ‘s all,” she said, watching as he licked his fingers again. 

“he’s got you going?” freddie laughed, abandoning his work to turn and face her. “i-,” she started, face red. “i won’t tell him, but you also don’t have to tell me,” he said, and she dropped her defenses. “yes,” she admitted softly. 

“you didn’t have to say. you only admitted it yourself,” freddie said, smiling. she scowled at him. “now, please tell me... how’s the sex? besides loud, i mean,” he said. “can you really hear us?” she gasped, obviously scandalized. 

freddie just ignored it. “tell me, what’s going for him?” he asked again. “well... he’s very good...,” she started. freddie rolled his eyes. “we don’t have all the time in the world, love,” he said softly and she snapped her mouth closed, face red as a beet. “he’s very good at using his fingers,” she said, going even redder, if at all possible. “good to know,” he nodded, but very obviously looked grossed out. 

“you know that you don’t have to listen to this, right? you asked me,” she said. “i know, but i want to be there for you,” he protested, and she lightened up. “you don’t have to do that, fred. it’s gotta be uncomfortable for you,” she half-smiled. “so uncomfortable,” he agreed, making her laugh. 

“we use protection. we’re too young to get married, let alone have kids,” she said. “good to know you’re family planning,” he said, nodding. “don’t worry, i’m almost done. since you asked, though...,” she said, standing up. she lifted her shirt up and pushed her jeans slightly down, showing off a smattering of light bruises. 

“if those are what-,” freddie began angrily. “they’re hickeys!” she exclaimed. “good. not great, but a lot better than what i thought it was,” freddie admitted. “he’s so kind. he would never,” she said, smiling. 

that was the end of their conversation. that didn’t mean it was the end of the train of thought though, obviously, because rogerina had gone back to staring at john’s fingers. the only thing new was the fact she was also looking for his crotch. 

his bass shifted over his hips and she could see the faint outline of his cock pressed against his jeans. she looked up to meet his eyes and he didn’t meet hers. instead, they were glossed over and further providing evidence he didn’t have to think about his actions. he just did them. 

“he makes me want to scream,” she said, almost breathlessly. “why?” freddie questioned, looking up form his notebook briefly. “he’s just so... ugh. he’s perfect,” she said, standing up. 

she strode across the room and stood in front of him, crossing her arms. he stopped playing and looked down at her. “yes?” he asked, face a little worried. “i want to meet your parents,” she said abruptly. “and why’s that?” he asked, setting his bass on the stand. 

“to ask them how the hell they made such an amazing person,” she mumbled, reaching up to kiss him deeply. he chuckled and kissed her back, smiling. “anything else?” he asked. “and maybe a hello,” she smiled, and they both laughed. 

“when we get home tonight, can you please use your talents like you just were?” she asked, and he thought for a moment. she watched as the realization hit him, then as he fidgeted and bit his lip. “of course,” he replied, setting a large hand on top of the bruises lightly. 

“let’s finish this before we start anything else,” she said, kissing his neck. “yeah, yeah. i just... i have to use the restroom,” he said, pointing to the door. “sure,” she smiled wickedly. “have fun. think of me.” he turned around the wink at her. “will do.”


	17. oh, how i want to be free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: there is graphic content in the chapter. the age of consent in england is 16, therefore rogerina is legal. also the ending of this is kinda shit. i just wanted to get something out because it’s been a very long time.

when they were home, john was pressing rogerina into the back of his door, kissing her deeply, lacing his hands in her hair, and pressing their hips together. she moaned loudly, then covered her mouth, remembering freddie’s words. 

“nobody’s home. be loud,” john mumbled, making her blush. “am i really that loud?” she asked. he laughed, guiding her to the bed and laying her down. “that was a serious question!” she exclaimed. “just shut up and let me make love to you,” he mumbled, lips pressed to her neck. “o-okay,” she said, ears going red.

he dragged his lips towards her chest, leaving little marks ranging from the base of her neck to her bust. his hands pressed into the small bruises on her hip bones the entire time, making her squirm in pleasure and slight pain. “stop moving,” he whispered, his fingers pressed harder into her sides. she gasped slightly, and he moved lower, past the previous hickeys he was toying with. 

he kissed her thighs, then moved to her core, moving his tongue lazy, soft pattern. “o-oh, deaky,” she said daintily, her head rolling gently. he wasn’t really trying to achieve anything, only pleasuring her just because he could. he smiled gently at her reaction, deciding to go for more. 

he rolled his tongue, and she moaned loudly, her back slightly arching and her head was thrown against the pillow. “look at me, princess,” he said, he rolled his tongue again. “john!” she exclaimed, looking him in the eye as she laced a hand in his long hair. 

“there you go. good girl,” he said, and she moaned quietly. “what was that?” he asked. he set his mouth back on her and gave a little bit of pressure, making her moan louder. she made eye contact for a second before letting her head fall again. 

she didn’t last much longer, mostly because of the mix of romance and lust. she came loudly, and he watched her come down from the high, smiling deviously. “you’re so pretty,” he said, leaning over her to kiss her. “mhm, i know. thank you, though,” she smiled, her eyes closed. 

“are you good to keep going?” he asked, and she nodded. she looked thoroughly fucked, hair strewn about and her arms and legs were spread across the bed as she breathed heavily. she rolled on top of him to sit on his thighs and kissed him languidly, taking her time in taking his pants off. 

she threw his jeans across the room and frowned when she saw he had underwear on. “how could you?” she asked with fake disappointment. “i didn’t know we were going to do this tonight,” he admitted, making her break and smile, laughing at his comment. she placed a hand over his boxers, making both of them snap into seriousness. he shifted his hips up a little bit, and she slowly started to slide his underwear down. 

“don’t tease me,” he pleaded. she started into his pupil-blown eyes with her icy cold ones deeply. “i’ll do what i damn well please,” she said, leaning into his neck. “you’re just lucky i don’t want to be a tease,” she mumbled, kissing the skin near there and sat back up. 

she threw the boxers across the room and stared at his lips hungrily. “don’t get too carried away,” john mumbled, voice breathy. her attention snapped to his dick, heavy and leaned against his lower abdomen. “i don’t think you’d mind if i did,” she replied, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

rogerina reached a hand out to grab his aching cock, but also smashed their lips together, drinking in john’s grunt. they made out while she pumped her hand slowly, only trying to get him more worked up. “please,” john begged as he pulled away. 

“since you asked so nicely,” rogerina said, then leaned back, removed her hand, and replaced it with her mouth. immediately, john’s moans became pitchier and he put his hands in rogerina’s hair. she bobbed her head and took him in completely, then pulled off to lick up and down his shaft teasingly. 

“rogie,” he said almost breathlessly. “please. please just-.” she cut him off. “i’m going to stop now so you’ll cum in me and not on me,” she said, and he lunged to press their lips together harshly. rogerina put her hand back on john’s dick, moving it up and down slowly. 

he pulled away from her and stuck two fingers in her mouth, which she took immediately. she wetted them generously and then laid down how she had been originally, giving john the power. john was red in either embarrassment, lust, or both, but rogerina couldn’t care less. she just wanted him. 

“don’t get too excited,” rogerina laughed slightly. “shut up,” he laughed back, leaning over her slightly. “tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” he said, and she put her hand on the back of his neck, smiling up at him softly. “shut up and fuck me,” she whispered, and he smirked deviously. 

john guided himself into her gently, then began to pick up pace. “oh, john,” rogerina moaned, arching her back a little. he grabbed her hips and pounded harder, making her whimper quietly every time he thrust. she was ahh-ing and mhm-ing pitchily every time skin hit skin. 

“are you already close?” john asked with a smirk and he leaned over her. “you- it’s because of you- why are so smug?” she asked breathlessly, moaning again. “i didn’t know i could do this to you. you look so beautiful,” he said, kissing her neck. “god, is there ever going to be a downside to you?” she asked, and he laughed against her neck. 

a few seconds passed, but rogerina was ever closer to her high. “c’mon, rogie. you can do it. come for me, love,” john said, and rogerina threw her head back. her back arched as she scratched down john’s arms. he came too, pulling her closer to him. 

they flopped down on the bed side by side with a big humph. “wow,” rogerina breathed out. “wow is right. you never cease to amaze me,” john smiled softly. she hovered over him to kiss him gently. 

“can i sing you my song?” john asked. rogerina smiled and nodded, then rolled over on her side and cuddled into john’s chest. he wrapped his arms around her waist, setting his chin on the top of her head. “ooh, you make me live... whatever this world can give to me, it’s you- you’re all i see...”. 

...

rogerina woke up the next morning with a dull ache and a want for a full english breakfast. she gently rolled over, got up to find a long shirt of john’s as a sort of makeshift muumuu and set out to the kitchen. freddie was stood by himself, cooking up some eggs. 

“hey, freddie,” she said quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he had a hangover, which he most likely did. “good morning. how did you sleep?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee and continued cooking the eggs. “well. and you?” she asked, leaning up against the counter. “oh, fine. how rude of me. would you like some eggs as well, dear?” he asked, pointing to the pan. “sure, that would be lovely” she smiled. 

“how was your night?” freddie asked, serving up the eggs. “just fine, and yours?” she replied, smiling as she took the plate from freddie’s hands. “i spent it with mary. we met up after the show,” he said, and rogerina nodded. “does she not come see the shows?” she asked, and he shook his head. “no, she says they’re too loud.” 

“aw, i’m sorry, fred. at least you know we’re all there for you,” she smiled, and he laughed. “yeah, i guess. thanks, rogie,” he said, and she held a hand up to stop him. “no, thank you. without you i wouldn’t be in the band. or here. or happy. this is all because of you, mercury.” he was all but glowing as he smiled and stepped off to his room to finish up an assignment that was due the next day.


	18. oh how i want to break free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi all! sorry for the over 3 months wait. school is super stressful and this summer isn’t going to be any better, but i try to not make these chapters suck too much. very fluffy and short.

when john woke up, he scrambled to find his day clothes and a towel so that he could shower. he looked and smelled a mess. he had already assumed rogerina was up since she wasn’t in bed, and he knew he hadn’t dreamt last night. 

the concert had gone well, leaving everyone with just a little too much pent up energy. freddie was most likely at mary’s, and brian was talking to some girl named chrissie. rogerina and john had spent their night with themselves at home, then curled up happily under the covers. 

john was so madly in love with rogerina, it was almost suffocating. she encompassed so much more than the bratty drummer for an underground band. she was witty, intelligent, kind, humorous, and accepting. most of the time, she knew what to say and do. in the off moments that she might not have, john was more than fine to repay her with the support she needed. 

he stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, then got dressed and slung his hair up in a towel. he walked out to the living room to see rogerina alone on the couch watching the news with a cup of coffee in hand. “mornin’, doll,” he said, voice scratchy. he went to grab his own cup of coffee, and smiled when he heard, “good morning, love. how are you?” 

they made small talk while deaky prepared his anti-hangover concoction. when he was finished, he took a seat next to rogerina, kissing her gently. “what’s all this?” she asked, staring down at the plate that was in between them. 

“well, i’m only a little hungover, so it’s just some very buttered toast, baked beans, and my coffee this morning,” he said, pointing to everything. she nodded and hummed in confirmation, then leaned back against the couch. 

she leaned into his side while he ate, sipping her coffee gently as they watched the morning news. “i wonder if top of the pops is on,” rogerina said, and went to the channel guide. “i’m sure fred has some taped,” john said, pointing to a basket of tapes next to the tv stand. 

rogerina got up and walked over to the basket, then sat down in front of it. the tapes were haphazardly stacked on top of each other, but they weren’t hard to sort through. she pulled one out and held it in her hands gently.

“the beatles. top of the pops,” she said, then held it up for deaky. he nodded. “put it in,” he said, pointing his fork to their video player. she pushed the tape in the slot and pressed play, then moved to sit back against the couch. 

“that could be us one day. that will be us one day,” she said, and started to daydream. she sat behind her drum set, tapping at her symbols nervously. deaky is tuning his bass, brian is holding his guitar and talking to freddie, who’s sipping water. there’s a few cameras, but besides that, there’s basically nobody there with them. 

“look at them go,” john commented under his breath, watching in awe. rogerina cuddled deep into his side, continuing her daydreaming. freddie then walked out of his room, holding sketches for a class he was in. 

“two star struck lovers, huh?” he asked, placing the sketches in his school bag. “it’s the beatles, fred,” john said. “how about we do one of our sing along sundays?” freddie asked, setting his hand on his hip. “one of your what?” rogerina asked, intrigued. “that was our thing, fred,” john said frowning. 

“lighten up dear. it is still our thing. sometimes, john and i will play music loudly from our record player. it’s fun. usually, we clean,” freddie said. rogerina smiled. “i can head out if you two wanna get your groove on,” she said, and john shook his head. “it’s alright. we’re not in any dire need of a tidy,” he said, kissing the top of her head. 

freddie chuckled and headed back to the kitchen, going to grab coffee and some breakfast. “you know that you don’t have to hide yourself from me, right?” rogerina asked, and john made a weird face. “i love you, no matter what. even if you dance and sing while you clean. that just adds to the whole package,” she said, leaning in to kiss him. 

“yeah, yeah. thank you, dear,” john said, trying not to smile. “aw, don’t be like that,” rogerina insisted, pressing kisses onto his cheek. “be like what?” he asked, then broke, falling into a fit of laughter, which caused rogerina to start laughing. 

they laughed until it physically hurt, then fell into a warm, comfortable silence. “i love you and all of your goofiness,” rogerina said seriously. she studied his face intently, finding that his eyes were creased into a beginning semblance of a smile. “i love you too, no matter how normal you try to be. you’ll always be my rogie,” john said, finally fully smiling. “you’re my favorite person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you like marvel, you should definitely check out my other works. :) much love!


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